


The World We Knew

by My_Dear_Watson



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-03
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-02-27 23:49:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 30,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2711213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Dear_Watson/pseuds/My_Dear_Watson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen and Cassandra are patrolling a road after leaving Haven when they come across a set of people who are inches from death. To Cullen's dismay, one turns out to be Solona Amell. They take the group in, and Cullen manages to convince himself that Amell's presence is merely tactical for the Inquisition, but too many things have gone unsaid on either side for it to be just that after a while. The trick is trying to deal with that with the imminent threat coming their way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Things had been far too quiet on the trip from Haven.  It had been chaos at first for the first couple of miles, then there had been dead silence- out of fear, Cullen knew. That and apprehension and loss- it was hardly unwarranted.

But then they had set up camp and the Inquisitor-Rhia, he corrected. She had asked him to call her ages ago- hadn’t shown up yet, and there was even more fear that drove the silence. If she failed… well, no one wanted to dwell on what was to come. But then she had shown up around the corner, coated in snow and half dead. It wasn’t much of a relief to many, but they took it.

The song that the survivors had sung hadn’t done spirits much good, but it was enough. People rested relatively easily that night. Their savior was alive although hurt, they were miles away from apparent danger, and the snow was enough cover from smaller dangers.

He had kept watch the entire night, despite Cassandra and Leliana trying to take over for him. He had insisted he should stay since he was still wide awake from the fight and it was the brains of the operation that needed to be rested and weary the next morning. He had a feeling even they knew that wasn’t entirely true. Of course, was fear that something like that had passed in the Circle would happen again. The abomination- Corypheus, he reminded himself again. An abomination was an abomination but there was no point in unnaming him and therefore reducing his threat- had wrecked Haven. Upon seeing him, Cullen had been brought back to That Day. When Darkness ruled and its cause had the same face as the latest monster. No matter how many times he would insist that he wasn’t, he was still that scared recruit who had been the only one besides Irving to walk out of the heart of the fire.

He was still awake and hyper-aware early in the morning when Cassandra had come to check on him. She had all but dragged him out from under the rock outcropping he had settled beneath.  He apparently “needed to clear his head” and “breathe cleaner air.”  He wasn’t sure how either of those worked under the circumstances, but he had agreed and had a small band of soldiers accompany them, planning to train them to keep them on their toes later.

They had made it down to the river not far from camp when they had stopped. Cassandra had been giving him a look that was half uncertainty, half pity and Cullen was ready to lay into her about not needing either of it when something had caught her eye behind him.

He turned to see what it was, and upon seeing wreckage floating in the water, his heart sunk. It wasn’t from Haven, but at this rate, with the abomination’s powers, it could’ve been from any other evil they caused. Or any of the other rifts that had scattered. Far too many people had died these last few weeks over all of this. They watched the wreckage get closer and closer, too moved to say anything or do anything- and then one of the larger boards in the wreckage and his heart practically stopped in general since there were bodies scattered around the water behind it.

And he _knew_ one of those bodies.

It was a woman. She had long, fiery red hair, she was unhealthily thin, had a triangular face, pale skin that was paler visibly blue from the cold and potential death.

_No._

“AMELL!”

He wasn’t even aware he had run for the river-let alone called her name until he was shin deep in it and he had heard Cassandra yelling for him.

“-What are you doing? They’re dead! They have to be!” Cassandra called, but her voice barely reached his ears.

“Cassandra- the soldiers who were with us- get them, now! Have them help me!” he called. He struggled against the current for a moment, then caught sight of where she had drifted to. He caught another drifted around the elbow and pushed off another piece of rubble to get to her. He lunged at the last minute, somehow managing to get footing on the river floor and tossing an arm around her middle at the same time. He yanked her upright to lean against him, and he tried not to let shock take over when he saw two arrows sticking out of her abdomen. “No. No no no no no…” he made his way over to the bank and dropped Amell and her potential companion before going in again. The fact that the soldiers he had called for had finally shown up and were scrambling to get the other three bodies out did little to settle his nerves. He got the remaining straggler and deposited him on the bank before crawling to Amell’s side. He lifted her to survey the damage. Both hits had gone through, arrow and everything. She had lost a great deal of blood already, but most of the evidence had washed away.  He turned to the small party of soldiers behind them and pointed to one. “Alert the healers that we have more people coming. Now.”

The man nodded and ran off.

Cassandra watched him go, then turned back. “Cullen, they are unfortunate souls, probably dead. We have our own people to-“

“She is not some unfortunate soul, she’s the Hero of Ferelden and if she’s alive we need her- and these people if they were in her party,” Cullen growled.

Cassandra frowned. “This is the Hero of…? _This_ is Solona Amell?”  Cassandra asked.

Cullen paid her no heed this time. He turned Solona on her side and hesitated briefly before snapping the arrowheads off.  He pulled the shafts out a moment later, then looked her over. His heart sunk again. He could barely even bring himself to check if she was living for fear of finding out she wasn’t. He reached to hold his hand over her mouth- any other ways might have undone him then and there. And for the first time in a long time, he was relieved. She was barely breathing- the sensation of breath on his hand was slight at best, but it was there. “Check the others.”

After a few moments, one of the soldiers chimed in. “Two dead, three breathing, Ser.”

“Take them all back to camp with us then,” Cullen replied before he hoisted Solona up into his arms. She was dead weight, too. Everything was wrong about this. So wrong, but he refused to give up just yet. Not when so much had happened- so much had gone unsaid.

“And if these men are the ones who did this to her?” Cassandra countered, moving so the soldiers could get the other bodies settled.

“Then we’ll keep them separated,” Cullen countered.

“Cull-“

“Would you rather we do nothing? Not give the Hero a chance? Her presence could be an advantage,” Cullen cut her off. He adjusted his hold on Solona and kept moving.

“And if these others wake first?” Cassandra crossed her arms over her chest and arched an eyebrow. 

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

* * *

 

It had been a quiet day after the commotion that came with dragging the Warden back to the camp. The survivors were terrified that such a legend had been brought down, but now they had another savior on their side, according to the healers that had insisted they could restore her to health since she was a healer herself- it would just take time.

When Cullen had heard that she was going to survive it, Cullen had far too many emotions than he would’ve liked. Relief that someone else who could bring their cause great success was going to persevere and hopefully stick with them, anger at whoever had attacked her to begin with, and then there was bitterness at himself for doubting that she could survive before. And on top of that, there was guilt, especially when the healers had noted Solona’s healing energy still doing a decent job at preserving her. The last time he had seen her he had been furious and destroyed and she had the nerve to look at him with even more pity than people had given him later. Even after Solona and her companions had checked in with everyone before they left the Circle after destroying it, he had yelled at her, accused her of wanting to hurt people, just like so many of the mages he had seen. He had called her destructive. Her, the one who had used her magic to heal people- whether it was a simple papercut on a mage apprentice’s finger they had gotten, or a Templar recruit who had gashed his arm open during a training exercise. She used her powers to help people because that’s what she enjoyed doing- she had told him as much years before, and he had thrown that all back in her face. She had claimed to understand, considering that she had seen and heard what he had been through, but it still wasn’t enough.

He was going to have to repent for being so vile to her. And now he had a chance. And that terrified him too.

He had been so caught up in his own mind that he had isolated himself when most of the survivors- notably from Ferelden started up another celebration that their Hero was here and their hero was going to help the new one. Something in him twisted at the thought that she might have wanted to be done with any conflict if she had almost died. Another part of him vehemently denied that. She had seen the slaying of the Archdemon through, she would probably want to see this through as well. He had to hold onto that hope. So when the celebration was going on, he retreated to the healer’s tent to check on her recovery.

When he reached the tent and pulled back the flap to get an update, he was surprised to find Leliana sitting on a rock beside Solona’s cot, holding the woman’s hand, simply watching her- and, to Cullen’s relief, the slow rise and fall of her chest- that was the best sign they had so far. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were… I could-“

“No, stay,” Leliana offered. “'Lona was a dear friend to me and I know she would do the same if I was in her place,” she replied. “And… if I remember correctly, you called her friend as well, so it’s only fair we could share this time.”

Cullen flinched. “I don’t think she would allow me that title anymore…”

Leliana scooted over on the rock and patted it. He hesitated again, then sat down. “I’m sorry, and I’m sure you don’t want to dwell on that time, but… what happened did not deter what she thought of you. She told me so much once. I was there too, you know. She wasn’t angry at your reaction to your… misfortune. She was upset. Even afterwards, she wanted to go back to the Circle numerous times to check on you, check on the First Enchanted, but we hadn’t the time. She was adamant that you were friends.”

“I didn’t deserve that friendship. I still don’t,” Cullen countered. Yes, he had forgotten he had seen Leliana in passing all those years ago. She had been quiet, understanding. No wonder he could tolerate her even now over the others.

“She’s the forgiving type,” Leliana offered.

That got another scoff, but it was somehow a grateful one at that. “Yes, I hope so…”

They were silent again for a while until the tent flap opened. They turned to look at who had joined them. Varric offered a wave of greeting, then turned his attention to Solona. “Shit, Curly, you weren’t exaggerating when you said Hawke looked like the Warden. No wonder you got all bug-eyed the first time you met her.I thought it actually was-“ he stopped short. “Uh, just- ahem, how's she doing?"

“Apparently as good as she can be. And secrets already, Dwarf?” Cullen asked, happy to have a small distraction. “Usually the trick’s getting you to shut up.”

Varric coughed, then laughed. “Well, what can I say? I’m a storyteller. And well uh, maybe there’s something that I should tell you, considering our latest problem. You’re less likely to hit me over it than Cassandra, anyway…”

“And why would I hit you?” came Cassandra’s voice from outside of the tent. A couple of moments later, she joined them as well.

Cullen glanced back at Varric, and when the dwarf looked guilty at being caught in whatever was about to be revealed, he had a sudden feeling that being with injured and dying while having this conversation was a bad idea. He rose to his feet, and Leliana did the same, apparently having a similar thought. “Are you sure you want to have this talk here?” he offered.

Varric gave him a pleading look and Cassandra ignored him.

The latter paused. “Hold on. I heard you mention the Champion’s name- and then  you hesitated… and were not even apprehensive about the fact that she may not be around to bear a likeness to this woman..."

Varric was visibly trying not to look caught, and even Cullen saw the wheels in Cassandra’s head going. Even he didn’t exactly mind when Varric took a cautious step beside him- then behind him. He was a human shield now. _Against Cassandra. Perfect._

“You told me you didn’t know where she was!” Cassandra hissed.

Varric stepped a little further behind Cassandra. “Well, cat’s out of the bag, it’s not a need-to-know thing anymore at this rate, and Bianca’s half a camp away so I can't even get outta this... Yeah, Hawke… missing … … about that…”


	2. Chapter 2

It had been three days since they had found Solona and the healers were still working. Her breathing was steadier, but that was all. Her companions weren’t far off, but their life force was apparently more prominent. The healers insisted they would come too first. Cullen wasn’t sure whether or not that as a good thing. He needed answers to who they were first.  They were a matter of hours away from Skyhold now, and if the others meant trouble, it would just end in- well, evem more disaster than they were facing.

They had set up camp for the night once again when Rhia had come to their small set-up. Cullen spared her a glance as came around the corner. “Come to see the Hero too, then?”

Rhia cracked a smile. “Yeah. Would’ve done it sooner but now everyone needs- Maker!” her smile dropped.

“What?” Cullen asked. He stood slowly, then frowned as he realized it wasn’t Solona she was looking at. It was one of her companions,  the larger of the two men. “Do-“

“This is my brother,” she replied, but didn’t look at him. “He’s a scrapper, so whatever did… all this meant business.”

Rhia pushed past him and knelt before the man. “Does anyone know who did this? Did Solas identify the arrows in her or anything?” she winced sympathetically when he gave a flinch of his own at reliving seeing her skewered. “Sorry, I just- if we could get a lead with any of that…  my brother and the others clearly weren’t hit, but…”

“No such luck. Why would a noble be with Amell?” Cullen asked.

Rhia shook her head. “Dirk… _doesn’t like_ being a noble so that wouldn’t matter,” she explained.

“ _Dirk_?” Cullen asked. “Your brother is named… after a dagger?”

“His name’s Derrickanos. He’s the one that shortened it. When you’re bitter about being a noble and you have a name like that, you change it any way you can," Rhia shrugged. 

“Derrickanos?” Cullen repeated and arched an eyebrow.

Rhia pointed at herself. “Then I suppose now’s a great time to tell you my name’s Rhianamae. I’m a syllable away from being a walking corpse. But, with our parents, so long as everything around them sounds fancy, they’re in better graces with rich compatriots.”

Cullen laughed despite himself. “They did seem unbearably pretentious when you made me go inform them you were alright.”

“Yes, sorry about that as well,” she replied, then turned her attention to Solona. “So what’s her story, then? And your place in it, being that you’ve barely left her side?” When he seemed to search for words, she seemed to understand. “Oh, she’s from _back then_. What you don’t like to talk about. Got it.” When he went to respond, then shut his mouth, she grinned. “Tell me you shagged the Hero of Ferelden. _Tell me_.”

Now that got to him. He all but gawked at her. She had been respectful and interested since they had met, so what prompted that? “I did no such thing!”

“Pined after her, then? You look… pine-y.”

He scoffed. She had been hanging around Sera too much now. “And what makes you think you know me well enough to ask this?” he countered. She just crossed her arms and smirked.  “In that case you and Blackwall seem quite cozy with each other," he pointed out. 

“Maybe we are. Was that the deal with you and her?” she asked.

Cullen went to object again, then sighed. She had been a good friend so far, despite being obnoxiously nosy. Then again, their situation left little room for secrets. They had learned that a couple of nights ago when Varric had come clean about knowing where Hawke had been all the time she was ‘missing.’ “I- no- not… exactly.”

Rhia leaned back and looked interested.

Cullen rolled his eyes. “Fine. There might have been some foolish, misguided, _beyond_ inappropriate-“ he stopped short when there was a low, tired moan to his right.  His head shot in that direction and sure enough, Solona’s eyes had started to flutter. “Amell?!” he nearly tripped over his own feet in the process of trying to kneel in front of her.

“I’ll get the healers!” Rhia offered before stepping out quickly.

Cullen sighed. At least she knew when to back off and let a situation be all business. 

Solona opened her eyes halfway and stared at Cullen. After a beat, she yelped and shot upright, grabbing at her stomach, making tiny whimpers as she did so.

Cullen reached to grab her hands. “Easy, shhh, shhh, Amell. It's Cullen... from the Circle. You’re safe, we- the Inquisition found you. You're in our camp.”

Solona stopped her movements, but still breathed heavy. After another couple of moments she seemed to realize he was still holding her, but hadn’t put together who it was. She looked at him again and he couldn't tell if that look was of panic or shock. “Cullen?!”

“Amell…” Cullen nodded, then went to continue, then was stunned himself when the next thing he knew, she had launched herself at him. She managed to get one arm locked around his neck before her lack of muscle mass caught up to her and she started to fall. He awkwardly slung one arm around her waist to try and balance her weight. “What-“

“You’re okay… you’re alive… you’re not…” she began.

Cullen blinked rapidly for a moment before easing her back onto the cot. A hug wasn’t at all what he expected to be the first thing that would happen during their reunion. Then again, neither were those words when she was the one who had been mere inches from death a matter of hours ago. “Why would I not be? It should be you being questioned about that." 

Solona swallowed hard, then curled in on herself.

Cullen leaned forward. “Talk to me- please. Who did this to you?”

Solona glanced over at Dirk’s cot. “He wasn’t the only survivor, was he?”

Cullen motioned behind her at the other two who had made it. Well, at least that made it sound like they were all on her side.  “Three more are… relatively alright, but there are also two dead. Now answer my question.Why is my being alive a concern?” 

She turned to check on her companions, then sighed and turned back. “There was an… attack. My friends and I got ambushed- I mean I guess it was intentional to a point, since we were trying to spring those traps for Grey Wardens, but then… we got ambushed by Templars. We were wide open-“

“Templars?” Cullen questioned. “Did that to you? You’ve taken on bewitched Templars by the dozen and they managed this?!”

“Yes, but not… there was something wrong with them, Cullen, I couldn’t tell what, but… they were stronger. More powerful, more resilient. Something was very, very wrong. I’m just… whatever it was… I feel-I sense hasn’t affected you, and I’m… relieved, to say the least. As far as being able to fight them off successfully… well, the stories you heard and lived were ten years ago. I'm not the fighter I used to be."

Cullen looked at her, then looked down. “I didn’t mean- that wasn’t- I don't doubt-"

“I know…” Solona assured him.

The door opened behind them, and Rhia, one of the healers and Cassandra bustled in.

Solona squinted at the light. "I'm awake two minutes and you already have people checking on me?" 

“We weren’t alone. Rhia…” Cullen began, then motioned at the brunette, who waved lightly. “Was checking on you as well. We heard you get up and she ran to get the others.”

Solona nodded carefully. She looked at the new arrivals who were apparently looking over her remaining injuries. “Help me up, will you?” she muttered.

Cullen offered his arm immediately and she used it to pull herself up. Cullen went to release her, but she dug her fingers into his arm for good measure and he stilled before merely easing his grip on her. “Rhia, is it? That would make you Rhia Trevelyan then, the Herald of Andraste. The new me- new _'us'_ , really”

Rhia nodded. “Sounds about right.”

Solona looked at Dirk. “And that would also make you…”

“His little sister, yes.”

Solona sighed in relief. “He’s a good man. Last one to go down with…” Solona gestured around. “Well, this. And... as horrible as this is, I'm glad he was one of the ones who were still around. Now, especially. He was the only one with family anyway." 

Cassandra looked between the group when a silence passed, then bowed. “Warden Amell, I am Cassandra Pentaghast. We are all part of the Inquisition here, and based on your track record-“

“Let me save you the trouble. Yes, I’ll help you. Finding your people was the next step in our plan anyway. And please, don’t bow to me. You don’t need to. It’s Katryn Cousland you would need to bow to out of us Wardens- and she hates it too,” Solona replied.  “And you can call me Solona. Titles are overrated these days.”

Cullen wanted to gawk at her. She had never interrupted people. Ever. Times had changed. She had changed. They all had changed. He just hoped it was for the better.

Cassandra opened her mouth briefly, then nodded and straightened out.

Rhia, on the other hand, beamed and crossed her arms over her chest. “See? It’s a humility thing. Not an embarrassed thing.”

The other woman shot her a glare, then turned her attention back to Solona. “Formality aside, you will still need to be briefed on our current threat.”

“I’m sure I can provide information on other smaller ones that may interfere, too,” Solona offered. “But… I may just… need a while,” she ran her hand over her stomach idly.

Cassandra nodded, then turned on her heel and left.

Rhia, on the other hand spared one last glance in her brother’s direction before looking between the remaining two. When she saw Solona turn at the right moment, she grinned, gave Cullen a thumbs up, and darted for the door before he could even growl and go slam it in her face… or escape himself. He liked her well enough, but now he was paranoid they had just gotten into one of those sibling-esque friendships, and another Mia was the last thing he needed in times like these. He was lost in his thoughts again when he realized she was noticeably absent from his arm again. He turned, worried he had caused her to slip away, only to find she was the one who had let go and was headed back to her cot. “Can I… get you… anything?” he asked, then flinched at how awkward it came out.

“I’m fine,” Solona replied. “So… how long before the entire camp knows that I'm here?”

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m afraid… they already do. Part of that was my fault… calling for any help I could get when we brought you back here. The rest- Varric. All Varric.”

“You were the one that found me?” Solona asked. 

Cullen nodded. “We- weren’t far from a river on the way here. We found you and your companions floating it it. We... I thought you were dead," he admitted. Not wanting to dwell on that fact, he continued. "Cassandra and I were trying to figure out what to do after we lost Haven-“

“Lost Haven?!” Solona repeated. “What do you mean ‘lost Haven’? It was fine the last I heard of it-“ she cut herself off. “Which was months ago…”

Cullen frowned. “How much have you heard of us? About current events?" 

“Apparently not enough, aside from being aware there's a giant hole in the sky and it's somehow connected to the Conclave that apparently went wrong. Don't know how, though. I'll need to find out, if you have anyone who knows all the details." 

Cullen sighed. “Here you are, jumping into the action where the Inquisition's involved, and I haven’t asked a damn thing about what’s happened to you other than how and who…”

“I’ve been… all over. The other Wardens, the ones you met- we're all doing our own thing now. It's safer that way. I’m just the more travelled one doing odd jobs. As you heard, the latest was taking out some of the people hosting those Grey Warden regroups that’re trying to kill them. A few weeks ago we had gone to take out the people behind some assassination plot against Alistair and Kat…”

Cullen shook his head. Alistair- just Alistair. Not King Alistair. She could call him that and it was welcome. He had seen the King before he was King. And Queen Katryn- he hadn't met her, but he had heard enough, and here Solona was, being even less formal with her than she was with Alistair. “You aren’t obligated to us. You can go.”

“No. It sounds like you need all the help you can get, so I’ll stay. I’m sure Dirk and the others will if I do.”

“Who… are they?”

“Friends I’ve gathered on my travels. Dirk’s a mercenary that helped me out of some trouble with some mages a few years ago. Somehow he convinced me to take him on longer for a price, now he does it for free. One’s his own guard from his time as a noble, the rest are friends of his.”

Cullen chose to save questioning the fact that Rhia's brother had apparently gone from being a rebel noble to a mercenary in a minute for later. His head was already swimming too much. “Why would mages attack you? You're one of them, you're the mage hero of the bunch, are you not?" 

“Because I was friends with Jowan, one of the most known blood mages this side of Ferelden, they want to… eliminate one of the big problems that Templars would pick up on if I was around them- guilt by association earns death these days."

Cullen sighed and shook his head. He knew that well enough. “I hate this war. I really do. Mages and Templars can't even be safe among each other..." 

Solona frowned at that. 

Cullen caught the look. "You really have been away from the world..." 

She shrugged. “You’ll hear no arguments from me. Where have _you_ been with all this? There's not a Templar insignia anywhere on you."

“I… left the Circle over complications, went to Kirkwall…” he nodded when she opened her mouth. “Was there when it all fell apart- was second in command of the Templars when it all fell apart, had to side with Hawke- your… distant cousin, I believe, then I left the Order as a whole. I couldn’t take it anymore. Cassandra found me, now here I am.”

“It’s good to see you,” Solona blurted after a moment. “After all this. It’s nice to have some familiarity.”

Cullen smiled weakly. “It’s… … good to see you, too.” The words still felt wrong- not dishonest, but empty to him. “Amell, I-“

“Where is our dear hero who’s finally awake?”

Cullen flinched at the intrusion again, but welcomed it all the same. He glanced up at Leliana as she entered, then could’ve been knocked over when the woman actually squealed-a noise he never would have thought her capable of,  as did Solona before she launched herself at the woman and hugged her. He sidestepped them and went to leave them to give them a moment. He spared a glance back at Solona, and to his surprise she was still looking at him, even if she was returning the hug whole-heartedly. He nodded a farewell, then turned and left.

Solona watched him go, then looked at her old friend. “Leli, is he…?”

“The last few years have been quite hard on him, from what I’ve heard. I’m sure you can imagine. He’s having trouble, but he’s handling it,” Leliana replied. She backed up to sit them down, then curled against Solona, then took her hands in hers. “Now, let’s talk about you. Talking about all this can wait.” She looked down. “And we need to get some meat on those bones as well. This is just depressing!” she poked at a rib for good measure.

“I’ve been travelling nonstop for ages…” Solona replied, batting her hands away.

“And now you won’t be. We don’t have much to spare, but we have enough. Especially when you’re in such a sorry state.”

“I can barely stand for long periods of time and you want to drag me to a meal?”

“You’ll get to know our people. Not to mention you’ve never been one to just sit around and let full recovery come to you. Now let’s go.” She offered her hand and then looked at it pointedly.

Solona sighed and rolled her eyes before she took her hand.

Leliana beamed, then led her out of the tent.

Solona followed her out. They had only made it a few paces out before she realized most of the Hold’s inhabitants were staring at her. She looked back at a few until they finally got the hint and looked away. She knew to expect that, but hadn’t expected the looks in such numbers. She figured it had been a decent while without them. At least it had been a few years since she had that much attention.

There was that saying about counting blessings, after all. She had gotten used to it once. She could do it again.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to mention it in the last chapter, but I'm scrambling the mission order just a bit. Nothing too major, but it works out better as far as flow joes. Enjoy!

Dirk, Arron and Hayden had woken up hours after Amell, and upon hearing of the man and seeing him in passing, Cullen wasn’t sure what to think of the former. He didn’t mind the other two.

Dirk was most definitely Rhia’s brother, if he could tell anything from the first few hours. He could see that or figure that if the man’s first few conscious minutes were anything to judge. He had stumbled out of the healer’s tent and physically dodged the healers who had chased after him to make sure he was okay, then tried to bulk himself up while asking where he was to look more intimidating. He had gone as far as taking a blade right off a soldier’s belt and pointing it at him before Cullen himself had to step in. He had to punch the man and send him back a few feet. He wasn’t exactly thrilled with the logic that led up to it since he knew the man must’ve been as lost and confused as possible, but the last thing they needed was more bloodshed. Dirk had stumbled back and went to retaliate, but Rhia had come charging out of nowhere and shoving Cullen out of the way, screaming what Dirk had missed all the while. Dirk had accepted the news with no questioned asked, to Cullen’s surprise, then moved on.

The other two survivors woke up shortly after that, and so the Inquisition’s mission was back on. Rhia had taken Blackwall, Solas and Varric and had explained she was going to be gone for a few days since she had to figure out where those mirror shards she had found had come from.

Leliana and Josephine had gone off on their own missions,so by rights Cullen was the one in charge, and with the place in disarray, with more and more people coming in, he wasn’t exactly sure how to handle it. They needed people to clear rubble, they needed to build, they needed more soldiers, they needed people to train the soldiers and the mages, the list went on. Then again, he and Cassandra were there for the ones who used weapons, and now they had Solona for the mages. That was, if she wanted to help. But he had to try. He went to find her. To his own surprise, it didn’t take long. It was the company that he found her in that got him.

She was with Sera, of all people, laughing away as the blonde told one of her potentially vulgar stories. The injured fennec that Rhia had taken in as a pet as something to ‘raise the Inquisition’s spirits’ she had named Red was curled up in Solona’s lap, looking as content as could be. He nodded a quick greeting at the pair of them, then promptly looked away when Sera gave him that usual stupid grin that made him as uncomfortable as possible. “Could I borrow Amell for a moment?”

Sera absolutely beamed. “Why, Feather Shoulders- oh, that one wasn’t good, is it? Is all you need a moment, really?”

Cullen groaned, and took pride in the fact that Solona looked just as uncomfortable for him. “Please?”

“Of course…” Solona nodded. She set the fennec down and it darted away and she walked out of the pub with him. They walked towards the stables. “So… is you getting those comments the new standard for you around here?”

“You have no idea…” Cullen sighed.

She smiled weakly. “And to think eleven or so years ago, I sent you running off whenever I pulled something like that…”

“It’s been… a long times, as we’ve said…” he replied and knew he had gone red in the face, and knew he was going to get redder when she seemed to notice and did that ‘you’re adorable but hopeless’ look that she had given him so many times.  “And… well, it’s… the norm here, rather than… just you doing it on the rare occasion…” he swallowed hard, then realized he didn’t want to get any more red with the memories. “I came to ask if you’d be willing to train the mages we get in-“

Solona’s smile faded. “Train them. Like… your definition of train-“

“No!” Cullen cut her off. “Not- I’ve told you, being a Templar was behind me- their methods are behind me. I’m not- it’s all changed. I merely mean to say that when Corypheus’ attack happens- and it will happen, we can’t have them unfocused, we can’t have weakened spells. We need them to have a grip on what they’re doing for their own protection.”

She beamed. “Templar giving a mage free reign? Perish the thought,” She smacked his arm lightly, and when he didn’t return her smile, she sighed. “Come on. You can’t still have trouble trusting me after all this…” when he swallowed and looked away, her smile faded again and looked downright hurt. “You still don’t trust me.”

Cullen’s heart sunk at her look. He hated how often that was happening now in such a short span of time. “No! I mean yes! I mean-“ he sighed. “It’s not that I don’t trust you- well, I guess it is, but- ooh, this one went so much better in my head. I want to trust you. I’m sure I can trust you. I’ve just… I’ve come a long way with trusting mages, and I’m capable of it, more open, but here you are, the one connected to the biggest reason I couldn’t trust them and you’re suddenly back in my life after not being in it and-“ her face fell again. “-And I just blamed you when I’m trying to make the point that I do… mostly trust you, Oh Maker…” he brought his hands to his face. “I’m sorry. It’s not that I don’t trust you, but it will take a while, I won’t deny you that-“

Solona smiled and took his hand gently, running her thumb over his palm reassuringly. “Cullen, breathe. I was joking- and it was stupid of me to not think it through. You have every right to be apprehensive. ”

Cullen glanced at his hand in hers and pulled away. “No, I haven’t. You’ve more than proven yourself, Amell.”

Her smile was back. “We were friends once. If we’re to start that again, you should call me Solona.”

“You have yourself a deal.”

“Good,” Solona replied. “As for the mages coming in, I’ll be glad to train them.”

 “Thank you. Now, we should see if we can get another mage here who knows what they’re doing. The swordsman outnumber mages in trainers and trainees alike. I’d ask Solas, but he’s too busy with his experiments.”

“Solas?”

“Tall, bald elf.”

“Oh. Wasn’t there another one? Mage, I mean?” she asked.

Cullen nodded again. “First Enchanter Vivienne. I’d ask her, but… she…” he sighed. “You always saw through my lies so I can’t now- the woman terrifies me and I feel like my life would be collateral for asking a favor like that, even if it’s her job…”

“She is intimidating. Tall, shiny clothes… and that hat,” she teased.

“She has ears everywhere you know. Can’t have any of them hearing you making fun. She’ll have you turned into a newt,” Cullen muttered, going along with it but still being serious. He nudged her shoulder to have her walk with him again.

“I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you make a joke.”

Culen let out a huff of a laugh. “I guess that could be on the list of things that’ve changed… that I’ve been opened up to in recent years.”

She smiled weakly, then leaned on the wall. “Defensive or offensive?”

“What?”

“How do you want me to train them? Defensive so they’re giving your soldiers more time, or do you want them to give your soldiers a run for their money?”

“I… would it be too much to ask for both?” Cullen asked.

“Not at all. I think I can work with that,” Solona replied.

“Good…” Cullen nodded. The pair stood in comfortable silence until Cullen spotted something in the distance and groaned. “Looks like Cassandra wants to talk with Leliana, Josephine and I about things… can’t we have an hour of peace?”

“She’s just making sure you’re all prepared if the worst should happen…” Amell offered.

“I know, it’s just… the incessant arguing is… well, endlessly tiring…” he started to pace. “We should bring you in on these decisions. Maker knows we need someone like you with us. It would help immensely, I think…”

“By the looks of it, I don’t think Cassandra wants some… War Hero in your ranks.  She’ll probably thnk I’m too biased or something. Too prepared.”

“Well, if it’s one thing I know, you’ll have Leliana’s support.”

“I’d have to start killing puppies for that girl not to throw her lot in with me.”

“By the dozens,” Cullen agreed, then groaned again. “She’s giving me that look. She’s angry. Shit.”

Solona’s eyebrows shot up and she laughed.

Cullen sighed. “I really have to go then. The advisors are meeting tonight over dinner by the stables. Join us, we’ll see if we can get Cassandra let you in on most of our information.”

“I’d like that.”

Cullen nodded, then offered a slight bow before he headed over to Cassandra.

\--

Rhia came back a couple of days later with a mage in tow, Dorian. Cullen was more torn about the mage than he had been with Dirk. He was arrogant and wasn’t afraid to hide it, his idea of entertainment was igniting a few wisps of flames between his fingers and twirling them around, and didn’t bother hiding his opinion on blood magic. Not that Cullen disagreed with the last one, but he could at least not half-shout about it all the time.

And then there was the fact that the second he had reached a ten foot radius of Solona he had turned on the charm. An exaggerated bow, a kiss on the hand, leaning towards her while talking- it was all too much. He expected Solona to be just as put off by it, but she wasn’t. She was going with it and smiling and flirting back. And she had the gall to call him out for changing completely.

They had even sat together at dinner, trading stories about their experience with magic as Cassandra did, in fact, bring the pair of them up to speed with what was going on.   

He was angry at himself, acting utterly jealous when he hadn’t the right. The ship had sailed, and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her again. But this- this was ridiculous. He had speculated about her and Jowan once upon a time, and… eventually obvious life choices aside, he was quiet and more her apparent type.

He was settled a bit when the pair went their separate ways at nightfall. When he realized that he had been watching her and making sure that Dorian was behaving, he insisted he needed to stop. He needed rest. And a very, very strong drink if he could find anything.

* * *

 

Solona opened the door and smiled when she saw Rhia on the other side. The woman was holding a bottle of wine up in one hand, and two cups were balanced on the fingers on the other. “Hello!”

“Hi,” Rhia replied, then nodded when Solona stepped aside to let her in. “Peace offering for barely acknowledging your presence earlier in order to give Cullen a hard time, then running off with not so much as a word to you.”

“Where did you find that? One of the survivors bring it in?” She grinned when Rhia hesitated. “Found it around here, then?”

“It was sealed and the year’s good, if it helps,” Rhia pointed out.

Solona laughed. “Sounds just fine to me, then. How are you feeling? Warmed up, I hope? Your brother settling in alright?”

“He is. Making friends already, too. As for me, mostly. I can finally feel all of my toes again. It’ll be good to rest for a while now that the to-do list isn’t giant…” She sat on a pile of fallen planks and looked around the room. “Figures. One of six heroes of Ferelden and they give you the shitty, roofless tower.”

“It’s better than most of the places I’ve had to stay in the last few years.”

“Fair point,” Rhia replied. “Now, forgive me if I’m overstepping here, but if I’m to be the head of the Inquisition, I need to know things- and damn it, if I need girl talk after I’ve almost died three times in the last four days and have had to fight nonstop for most of it, I’m having girl talk. So… what’s the deal with you and Cullen? He’s been so quiet and short- even when I’ve tried to get him to warm up to me, and he’s kept to himself except for Roderick, now he’s actually smiling and following you around. I tried to get an answer out of him and he wouldn’t give it. Were you…?”

Solona sighed and smiled again. “He’s right. You don’t beat around the bush-“

“Sorry-“

“No! If anything, I’ve needed some of this talk myself. And… it’s… complicated. Nothing happened. There was… … he was… interested in me, many years ago. Some… adolescent crush… I’d be lying if I didn’t say it wasn’t mutual, but it was doomed- Templar and a mage and all that…” she tossed a piece of rubble aside. “And on a horrible note, when Ferelden’s Circle got attacked, the demons killed all the Templars but him. They tried to break him, and they apparently used his feelings for me against him and messed with his mind. Some of my friends at the time and Leliana got to him… hours too late at best. Had some… choice things to say about and to me. After we were all out of danger he barely talked to me. And then I’ve heard of his stint in Kirkwall that went to shit with the Qunaris, and then his superior going mad…”

To Solona’s surprise, Rhia looked surprisingly understanding. “Ah. I’ve only every heard bits and pieces of that. He hasn’t been forthcoming. Now I know. And now I feel like an ass.”

“If it’s any consolation he looks like he’s come a long way, so I wouldn’t. It’s… there’s no coming back from that entirely, but it looks like he’s tried his best to keep it behind him.”

“I’d hope so, if that’s the case. Poor thing.”

“At least he has this to keep him grounded…” Solona offered, then flinched.

“Yeah, more death and destruction, just what we all need,” Rhia sighed. She uncorked the bottle and poured the wine into the two cups. She handed one off to Solona, then hit hers in cheers. “To… hopeful new beginnings… and kicking whatever threat shall pass’ ass.”

“To kicking ass,” Solona agreed before taking a drink.

Rhia followed suit, then grinned. “I’m going to like you, Ms. Hero, I just know it. And forget Cullen, I want to know about your adventures too. Just… tell me things!”

“Such as?”

“I don’t kn- oh, yes I do! First encounter with a Pride Demon. I almost died figuratively and literally when I had to fight one a few weeks back. But you? You’ve apparently taken them on by the dozens, so just… was it as terrifying for you as it was for me?”

“You know, the first time I saw one I was just… sort of numb, so I can’t really say. But the worst one… Oh, that one still gives me nightmares. See, after the whole Archdemon business I still had some running around to do with another Warden, and then during one mission we came across this horrid mad woman that called herself the Countess…”

 


	4. Chapter 4

A few mornings later, Cullen wasn’t sure what to think when he woke to some odd cracking sound, followed by more cracking, but it was metallic the second time around. Years of being paranoid caught up to him and he all but shot up out of bed, slid down the ladder and launched himself at the door. He threw it open and jogged to the nearest edge of the battlements.

And then very nearly fell over from relief to find nothing was amiss. It was merely just Solona and Dorian and a handful of new mages throwing up ice walls and Dirk was training his own people to cut the walls down as quickly as they could. Dirk had only been on his job as instructor three days, Dorian for a week and Solona for ten and there they were, already working as a perfect team constructing an obstacle course. And if the wide smiles on all of their faces were any indication, they were enjoying themselves as they did so.

It was good. The people in the Hold needed that break. Not to mention if they were enjoying themselves they would be more likely to take the lessons and fine-tuning to heart.

“Good. Next one. Mages, take a rest,” Dorian instructed.

Cullen leaned forward to see what he was doing and wasn’t sure what to think when the mage raised his hands and half of the recruits’ blades erupted in flame- not to damage, but just apparently to coat.

Dirk took his turn and nodded. “Right. Partner up, one without the flaming sword- Dorian I will end you if you follow up that smirk with whatever you’re thinking- let the others swing away, parry as much as you can.”

Cullen decided to make his presence known and walked down the stairs to join them. “How are the recruits?”

Dorian turned to him, then tossed his arm around Solona’s shoulders, and Cullen fought back another bit of unearned jealousy when she leaned right into him and beamed. “The mages are fantastic under our even more fantastic guidance, Commander. The ones currently swinging around swords looking petrified yet dashing with all that sweat in the right places-“  he caught Cullen’s uncomfortable look. “Still less than our stellar pupils.”

Solona’s smile widened, then touched Dirk’s arm when the man scoffed, good naturedly all the same. “They’re spectacular teachers, these two. I’m impressed. I travelled with one for months and I’m still impressed,” she added and gave Dirk an extra nudge.

Cullen let out a breath’s worth of a laugh until he realized that touched on a subject he had been curious. “Speaking of which, Dorian, Rhia never told me- how did she come across you?”

Dorian shrugged. “I was apparently part of that… worst case scenario future she lived through. In that timeline was in hiding but found my way into the castle, I had answers and powers she needed, helped her out, presto chango- that’s the story I got as far as that goes. Point is she kicked in my friend’s door in Redcliffe, claiming she was late to the party but I might need her help in this whole thing, even if we managed to take down Alexius in the other world…” he trailed off, then shook his head. “I accepted more for the change of scenery more than helping all of you- no offense, but here I am.”

“And you just… believed Rhia, no questions asked?” Cullen asked.

“Well, when the woman comes in, blurting all of your and your mentor’s research it gets your attention, and then when it ventures into serious territory and she confirms old fears that your mentor’s gone mad- killed so many people in one world and would’ve done it in this one, what would you have done?”

Cullen stared at the man for a moment and then realized that he wasn’t in the small crowd that knw he had crossed that bridge already. Solona seemed to catch on quickly and she went to open her mouth to protest furthering the conversation, but he put his hand up. “I did the same thing you did, in that case.”

Dorian caught his meaning after a moment. “Oh, you must tell me that story someday.”

“We’ll see.”

\--

DADADA

Solona looked around the entirety of Skyhold from her spot on the battlements. It seemed so much smaller down below, and then here it was, grandiose and regal and strong. The sight to behold was one she didn’t think she would ever see, and she realized she had almost missed it because shaking hands with Death seemed to be an annual tradition now. But this allowed for some peace from the disarray that had been her life for ages.

But of course, as per usual, things got interrupted when the silence was broken by someone shouting in the tower to her right. She could barely make out the voices, but two were deep- male, one was low but feminine.  She jumped when the door slammed open. Varric was on the other side- there was one voice.

The dwarf merely blinked at her before backing up and closing the door. The voices continued.

A few moments later, it was Cullen who opened the door and leaned out of it. . “Solona, would you… come here for a few minutes? I… need…. a… second opinion on… a thing.”

“Oh, great wording, Curly!” Varric snapped from inside.

Solona frowned, and when Cullen jerked his head and motioned for her to come into the tower. She did, and turned around sharply when he practically slammed the door shut behind her. “Cullen, what…?”

“They figured you could be trusted to know that I’m here.”

Solona turned at the new voice and frowned upon seeing a woman who looked like her, just with lighter hair and a rounder face. “Who-?” she knew before she even finished the question. “Hawke…”

Ariadne Hawke nodded. “And you’re Amell. Distant cousin of mine, if the stories are true. You left me quite a giant set of shoes to fill.”

“Sounds like you filled them just fine,” Solona countered.

Ariadne beamed and looked at Cullen. “I like her.”

Solona smiled, then looked around. “So why all the secrecy?”

Ariadne pointed at Varric. “Turns out this one didn’t tell the biggest name of this operation he knew I was alive despite the fact that I was needed.”

Varric tossed his hands out. “I was protecting you! I didn’t know if Cassandra was legit or not and-“  

The door swung upon with a bang, and Cassandra was on the other side. She advanced on Varric. “You!” she called, then spotted Ariadne. “… You?!”

“Time to go!” Cullen blurted and grabbed Solona’s wrist before all but dragging her towards the door.

“Cullen!” Ariadne hissed, the same time Varric muttered, “Curly!”

He looked back at her and the pair exchanged pleading looks all their own before Cullen continued on, switching to pushing Solona towards the door. They made it out, and both started when the door slammed behind them and they could hear Cassandra yelling, muffled as it was.

She turned to him. “Should we really have left them?”

“If it’s anyone who could take on Cassandra when it comes to yelling matches, it’s your cousin. She took down the Arishok, she can take on Cassandra…” he stopped short and looked back at the tower door like he was contemplating running back in. “… The Arishok. Shit. She might not be too happy about Iron Bull- then again, she did help that one who just wanted swords…” he trailed off.

“What does she want? Does Varric just want her here to keep an eye on her? Or is there business? I don’t recall.”

“Something about the Wardens. I’m not exactly sure myself. Some sort of… sickness, maybe?” he paused and turned back to her, Ariadne’s potential trouble all but forgotten.  “Are you? Feeling ill, I mean.”

Solona hesitated, and something in him twisted with worry.  It wasn’t until he remembered how he found her that he figured that was the reason. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Right, stupid question. Of course you’ve been ill recently… or… close enough to it.”

She smiled weakly, and Cullen wasn’t sure what to think about the fact she still seemed off. “Well, I’ve been fine lately, that’s the important part,” she replied. “What about the other Warden? The one I haven’t met yet- Black… well?”

“Black _wall_ , and I’m not sure myself. He’s seemed fine the last few times I’ve seen him…” Cullen shrugged. He turned back towards the tower. “We’ll see what it’s about shortly, I assume-“

“If Cassandra doesn’t rip the poor woman limb from limb, judging by what I just saw,” Amell objected. “You know, she just went on about family before, and I’ve checked the lines- we are cousins, so I don’t think I’m okay just leaving her-“

Cullen let out a bark of a laugh. “I doubt it’s going to be _Ari_ Cassandra would kill. It’s Varric we should be worried about. She’s been after the Champion to be part of this since day one so harming her would be counter-productive. She’s had it out for Varric for ages though.”

“Why was she after us?”

“Same reason that we needed you- power, experience and influence,” he shrugged. “Uh, not that I- not that we would’ve … let you drown… or die from bloodloss if you weren’t you.”

The pair turned when they heard the door to the tower opened when there was more shouting. Varric stormed out, Hawke was at his heels, and to their surprise, Rhia shuffled out a few moments later. Varric merely spared them a glance before continuing into the main hall. Ariadne went to follow them, then stopped short in front of Cullen and Rhia had to swerve to Solona’s side to avoid a collision.

“You left him with… that woman?!” Ariadne hissed and punched his arm. “How could you just leave us with her when you clearly knew she was going to try to tear Varric a new one?!”

“I wasn’t willing to get involved…” Cullen supplied.

“Right, which left me to get forced to take sides,” Rhia finally cut in. “I just walked in there to try and get to your side of the Hold and the next thing I knew I was getting dragged into this fight! And now Cassandra hates me and I could’ve used you to back me up, so thanks.”

“She what? Ugh, Rhia, I’m sorry-“

“You owe me,” Rhia pointed out.

“Fine,” Cullen shrugged.

Ariadne looked between them before she heaved a giant sigh. “Right. Cullen, not talking to you right now-“

“Wha-“

“Amell, I will speak to you later, maybe regroup with- Rhia, was it?” the woman nodded. “-Good. We’ll  see what I can do here if I can get my assistance. Before that- I need to go talk to Varric and find a way to avoid whoever that was-“

“Cassandra,” Cullen cut in.

“Whatever. Point is I’m not thrilled with her right now. If you all will excuse me,” she nodded, then started her way up the stairs to the main hall. She stopped short at the base and backed up. “… … Cullen?” she called.

The man blanched. “First right, another right, down the stairs to the left. He’ll be in the back,” he instructed.

“… Thank you.”

Cullen couldn’t help the satisfied smirk grace his face.

Solona smacked his arm. “Don’t! You did leave her with Cassandra!”

“Lady’s got a point,” Rhia supplied.

“Oh, shut up.”

\----

Cullen was half convinced that some higher power hated him when suppertime came around. He had gotten caught up with paperwork and delayed eating an hour. When he had gone to get something, Solona, Rhia and Ariadne were huddled together, trading stories. Solona waved him over, and to his own surprise, Rhia scooted over in preparation to give the man room before he even came over.  Ariadne still seemed distant, and it was then that he realized she still hadn’t exactly joined with them by name. She had just shown up for some mystery reason that he wasn’t even sure about. He threw caution to the wind and sat beside the two redheads. “Well, Ari.  Are you officially part of our operation yet?”

“Not… exactly. Look, I’ll admit I didn’t come here just to help out or see Varric…” she looked genuinely guilty about the last bit.

Cullen leaned forward. “So I’ve heard. What is it, then?”

“I need… some of your resources. Even if it’s just using some of that woman Leliana’s contacts, sources, books, anything like that.”

He frowned. “I don’t know. With that latest attack we’re still building in number and no one knows if Corypheus is going to strike days or months from now and-“

“I understand. I just… that’s why I don’t need that much.”

“Well, it’s my call now, isn’t it?” Rhia asked, and when Cullen shrugged in agreement, she looked back. “What do you need, Champion?” she asked.

“And does it involve Anders in any way?” Cullen added after a minute.

If looks could kill, Ariadne could’ve killed the  man in a second flat with the look she gave him.

“I have to ask. He’s dangerous, Ari. You know as well as I that I was skeptical about the man but… didn’t mind him when we met. I know you have your reasons to keep him hidden, but we need to be careful. As do you,” Cullen insisted.

It was Solona’s turn to cut in again. “Would he really be capable of harm? Look, the man might have had a… problem with authority, but the man was a romantic. If anybody is safe with him it’s the woman he loves…”

“You knew him?” Ariadne asked.

“Briefly. I knew the spirit before he… took the man over, too. It’s a long story. But… I was friends with the both of them… and before the spirit changed too. Point is… has he changed that much?”

“You have no idea,” Cullen and Ariadne muttered at the same time.

Solona frowned and looked at her hands and sighed deeply. “Too much has gone wrong lately…”

“And it’s time we all change that,” Rhia offered, and the others smiled weakly.

After a few moments, Ariadne sighed again. “Also, just… because I feel like it needs to be said after all that,  before you ask, I didn’t approve of-“

“I wasn’t going to ask,” Solona cut her off. “I… get being… attached to loved ones who do… extremely stupid things with or for magic. I paid for it- not nearly as much as you and Anders have, but… I understand.”

Cullen frowned at her. She meant Jowan. Of course there had been feelings there. He should’ve known. It figured though. The bastard, tossing her aside when he did… that. He could’ve ruined her.

“Point is- well, kind of does. Loosely. Not exactly sure, but it’s not centered on him, if that’s what you’re getting at,” Ariadne admitted. She looked between her companions, then spared a few extra seconds looking at Solona. “Maybe this should wait…”

“With a build-up like that?” Rhia interjected.

“I need more information myself. I just need to know… if it’s what I think it is, I’ll have your help.”

“I suppose…?” Cullen shrugged. “Come to the War Table tomorrow, we’ll see what we can do.”

Rhia nodded. “We don’t have anything planned for the next couple of days, so if you change your mind about travelling for information, nothing big is planned, so we can give you manpower if you need it.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Ariadne replied. “And… Solona, would you mind if I had a word with you later? I can come to you, if you’d prefer.”

“I don’t see why not. Family should know each other, like you said,” Solona replied.

“Good. Then I’ll see you later. If you’ll excuse me, Varric’s offered to catch me up with what I’ve missed here,” Ariadne got up and left without another word.

Solona rose as well. “Someone I knew from Ferelden showed up the other day. I think I should go see how he is. If I don’t see either of you, have a good night.” She got up and left as well.

After a few moments, Rhia looked at Cullen. “Are those two always so… off?”

“I… have no idea anymore,” Cullen admitted.

“You know, Dirk and I fancy ourselves as fairly decent snoops-“

“ _No_ ,”

“Bu-“

“The last thing this Inquisition needs is distrust, Rhia. It could be nothing," Cullen pointed out. 

“And if it’s not?” Rhia questioned.

“Then we’ll deal with it when it happens, just as we’ve done everything else. The bloody Inquisitor has more to worry about than little things.”

“He says, when he’s the one who’s going to be affected most since he’s apparently friends with both. I mean someone has to look out for you, you stupid, broody lout. Or at least arrange to get someone in those trousers of yours before things go wrong.”

“You. Are. _Insufferable_.”

“Don’t act like you don’t feel like you need these conversations in your life right now.”

“You know, I should arrange for my sister to come so you could meet her. You two would get along famously and tip me over the edge into madness.”

“We would do it proudly.”


	5. Chapter 5

When Rhia and a handful of her people came back from the Emerald Graves, Solona didn’t expect the woman to ask her to go help Cullen and a few soldiers collect resources a few days later. She appreciated the excuse to get out and agreed. A matter of hours later Dorian, Cassandra and Arron had agreed to accompany the group as well.

The trip there itself was surprisingly relaxing. It was quiet and gorgeous and no one seemed to have a problem with each other. The only time that they seemed at odds was the day when Dorian had decided to start up a game of eye-spy out of boredom one morning and it had gone on for hours. She still wasn’t sure if it was because the game was happening or he had started losing miserably an hour in.

He got back at the mage when they had arrived at the Graves and had them going off to find materials with less than an hour at camp.

Dorian, of course, retaliated by whining the whole time.

They eventually got the amount of bloodstone they needed, which allowed them the rest of the day to regroup and enjoy the area. They had settled for walking around for a while and it had been nice- until a set of Great Bears had shown up and decided that the four of them were too close to their territory for their liking.

They dispatched one after a while, but the second retreated to its cave shortly after.

Dorian made sure the coast was clear before setting his staff down.  “Are we going to go after that one or leave it? Because I just got smacked around the head three different times and I’m not for going back in-“ he stopped short when there was a sudden shout from inside the cave, followed by a blinding purple light from inside. “And… letting that happen again,” he finished. “What-“ but he saw that Solona had frozen in place and had started to stare at the cave. Cullen wasn’t far off. “What?” he repeated.

“I know that scream,” she pointed out.

“Solona, no,” Cullen objected, but Solona was already headed for the cave. “Solona!” he hurried after her. Dorian went to follow, but the former Templar put his hand up. “Stay, and don’t let any of the others follow.”

Dorian frowned. “You sound petrified. From what I've heard and seen, you don't do petrified, is she in danger?!" 

“Possibly, but it's... complicated and doesn't concern you. Just- stay here!” Cullen repeated before he ran to catch up with the woman. He was relieved to find that she had barely made it inside when he caught up. “Solona, do you even-“ he grabbed at her wrist.

“Let go! If he’s…” Solona began, then stopped upon seeing the bear that had run off dead in the corner. There was a trail of blood in front of it and she followed the trail until she saw a second body propped up along one of the walls, and she realized that it was blood behind  body. “ANDERS!” her heart all but stopped, and the fact that the other mage’s chest rose slightly at his name being called was little to no help.

The mage lifted his head carefully and Solona could finally see just how much damage he had taken.

There was a pained moan, and then ever so quietly, “… Lona?”

“Yes, it’s me. It’s Lona…” she started to approach him.

Anders held out his hand, then shook a finger weakly. “No sudden movements. I don’t…” he paused. “I don’t know. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Solona…” Cullen finally spoke up, and Anders’ head shot in his direction. A moment later, a wall of ice shot up right at his feet.

Solona turned at the cracking sound it made. “Shit, Cullen?!”

The noise died, and there was a hard exhale before something metallic sounded and she could see sparks light from inside the circle, and blurs of red and black dodged to and fro and she realized he was trying to cut his way out of the ice, but it either didn’t work, or ice grew right back in the place he had cut.

She turned back around. “Anders, let him go!”

“What, so the plan wasn’t to kill me? Take control of the bears, come in and distract me, then get him to finish the job?” Anders spat after a moment.

“If you harm her you’re a dead man, do you understand me?!” Cullen called.

Anders scoffed weakly.

Solona shook her head weakly. “No. Maker, no. I came running in because I heard you scream! I thought you were in danger!” Anders finally looked her in the eye, and her stomach twisted when she saw that his eyes were dotted with blood too.  “You can trust me. You can believe me.”

He sized her up again, then looked towards where Cullen was. “She was never in danger from me, Templar, but being that your interference has… set him off, we’ll see what happens to you.”

Cullen muttered something under his breath.

Solona looked between them again. “Anders, let him go. I promise I’ll not let him harm you.”

“You’re trusting him? A Templar? After everything?” Anders choked out.

“He’s not a Templar anymore, and yes. If you’re uneasy with him, trust in me. We were friends once, remember?”

“Of course I remember. Justice remembers…” Anders replied. “And I could’ve frozen him solid- would’ve done more harm to me than good, but could’ve done it all the same. Keep that in mind,” Anders snapped. He looked up at her and sighed, then hissed in pain and touched his abdomen.

Solona stepped closer to him. “He came to protect me, not harm you,” Solona offered. “You’re really bleeding-“

“There’s no arguing with a madman, get out of here!” Cullen called.

Solona hesitated, then turned back around again. “Cullen, just… wait!” she objected.  

There was a pause, and then the cutting sounds stopped. She heard him mumble something she couldn’t make out, but she knew it was sarcasm from tone alone.  It was silent afterward.

She turned back to the mage and crept closer. “I tried to get him to stay back. Anders, wha-“ she stopped in her tracks as she remembered something. “It is, Anders, isn’t it? Or is it Justice now?”

He glowered, and then coughed up blood and her breath caught when blood came up on the last cough.

Anders relaxed slightly, and his arm buckled under his weight. “Just your… dear old friend at the moment… but I’m not sure how long that’s to last.”

Solona couldn’t tell if he meant just control over his body in general, or the apparently very real possibility he could die of bloodloss. “What happened?” she asked. She took another step forward, and when he made no move to stop her, she took another.  “Talk to me.  I swear we just happened upon you. This isn’t- I won’t…” she trailed off.

“Didn’t think to wonder if the cave I was hiding in was… a den. I was resting, and the damn bears took me by surprise. Must’ve left to deal with you, then that one came back, saw me again… killed it.”

The redhead swallowed hard, already fighting the lump in her throat. “Let me help you…”

Anders stared at her, then laughed weakly. “Facing down a mass murderer who’s dying and she wants to save his life. You’re unbelievable, Lona.”

She reached over and ran her hand up and down his arm hesitantly, not finding much else in her to do.“We were friends. Justice and I, too. And we’re all murderers at this rate. Let me help you,” she repeated.

Anders was silent for a while, then he swallowed heavily. “And if I don’t want you to?” he countered, then looked away.

Her throat clenched at that and she tried to get a hold of herself. After a beat, she reached up and to touch his face, and her heart broke when he pulled away to prevent it. “That’s not very like you to want to end it,” she pointed out. “Where was the one who just wanted to have a pretty girl at his side and shoot lightning at fools?”

“I’ve changed,” he replied and still didn’t look at her.

“Clearly…” Solona all but snapped before she could stop herself. She flinched. “I’m-“

“You know what I mean. I wanted a change. I wanted mages to be free. And it all ends up beinga footnote in the greater scheme of things. One war just tossed aside for another… and I’ve ruined everything with the people I care about. The love of my life barely looks at me anymore and it’s rare I see her  as it is.” He flinched. “Oh, Ari. I’m so sorry.”

That last bit got to her again. This wasn’t like him. Where was the Anders who loved life and made it through with a joke at anyone’s expense? Had he fallen that far with the spirit? Was he really ready to give all of it up? “ _No_ ,” she said firmly and knelt next to him carefully and fought back tears again. When he raised an eyebrow at her, she shook her head. “No. I’ve met her now. She’s bloody fantastic and it’s no wonder you two got on and you _will_ see her again. You’re going to get out of this cave.”

Anders eyed her hand carefully when she brought it up towards him. “I should be saying ‘no’ to you-“

“Then sod off because you know what my answer to that would be,” Solona countered and placed a hang on his chest and channeled as much healing energy through it as she could.

Anders jerked at the touch, then leaned into it after a few moments, that broke her even more. That changed when his eyebrows shot up.

“Anders?” she repeated.

 “You…” he gawked at her. He took her hand in his and squeezed it.

Solona shot him a look, then glanced back at the ice circle that was still holding Cullen at bay. “I what?”

“You know bloody well what,” he replied, and Solona was both terrified at the implication and happy that it was the most lively he had sounded so far.  “How could y- forget that. Can you hear it?” he asked.

“Hear _what_?” Cullen called.

Both jumped at his voice, having all but forgotten he was there.

“Nothing that concerns you!” Anders spat. He hissed in pain and Solona tried vehemently to blink away the sympathetic tears from at least falling, having given up on trying not to let them form. He was right about her caring for all the wrong people, but damn it, what was she supposed to do when he had been one of her closest friends- _almost more_ \- she noted and her stomach twisted again- then the man dropped out of her life, and then she was getting secondhand stories of him blowing up a Chantry. It was awful. And yet she found this reality even worse.

Anders looked his way, then back. “That… is why this happened. Something is very, very wrong. Justice… I don’t even know. He’s there but he’s gone. And that song… it’s just… all wrong. And it needs to be stopped. And that used to be our job.  And I can’t do a damned thing to stop it.” He looked back to stare at the ceiling of the cave. “Things do have a strange way of working out then ruining everything, don’t they?” he murmured.

Something in the back of Solona’s mind wanted to remind him that he had made his bed and had to lie in it, but the thought of pulling that while he was just stopping bleeding out was too much for her. “Yes they do.”

He sighed again, then covered her hand with his. “Oh, Lona. What messes we’ve made of our existence.”

She laughed weakly. “Yes. You could say that.”

“Double for me,” Anders added.

“Triple for you,” she corrected.

Anders laughed, then hissed in pain.

 Solona was pretty sure she heard a bone snap back into place. “Anders…”

Anders batted her hands away. After a beat, he shook his head and snorted. "You know, I love Ari. I wouldn't be here without her, but... sometimes I have to wonder what would've happened if that whole 'pretty girls and lightning' thing happened. If I took you up on that offer..."

"We would've driven each other mad and you know it," Solona replied. 

Anders snorted again, then flinched in pain. After a few too-heavy moments of silence, he sighed.“Too late for that now. How is Ariadne, if you’ve seen her?”

“She’s good. She’s safe. I guess the Amell tradition of getting up when you’re down runs pretty damn strong… she’s worried about you though. I know that look well enough to know when someone’s hiding it.” She swallowed hard. “Please tell me you weren’t actually so willing to give up on your life.”

 “If you haven’t noticed I haven’t got much to live for other than the… quarter of a handful of people who don’t hate me on principle now. Go ahead, say it, ‘you did it to yourself.’”

“Never,” Solona promised.  After another moment, she shook her head. “Fine. But… No. I need to ask, at least. You know that. Why? You were so suspicious of spirits and then… I just hear all of this in my travels about you and…” she stopped short. “I was terrified for you. I thought… I thought a demon just… took you over entirely, but when I found out it was Justice? He was doing all those things? Through you. I didn’t want to believe it. We were all friends. Justice respected me, I respected him-“

“Oh, he just about _loved_ you. It wasn’t just respect. That was the only thing that didn’t change when we joined.”

“Is that’s what keeping you… you right now?”  she asked.

Anders frowned. “I’m not even sure… he just… stopped. A while back I thought… letting him out more often would… even things out, but he’s quiet.”

Solona sighed, and figuring that most of his wounds were taken care of, she turned her hand in his to hold it. “Promise me you won’t do anything stupid. If this was an accident and you didn’t finding those damn bears to end things for you. I’ve lost too many friends, and circumstances aside I can’t stand to lose another one…”

“I’ve doomed our kind,” he supplied. “You can-“

“I _can’t_. And now the Templars are too busy dealing with things in their own ranks to care. Promise. Me,” she repeated again. “If not for me than for Ariadne.”

Anders grunted, then turned towards Cullen again. “And what say you, Knight Captain? As willing to see me live as your old friend?”

Solona frowned and looked at the ice again.

“Never call me Knight Captain again and I’ll see about looking the other way- but not for your sake,” Cullen offered.

Anders snorted, then frowned and turned his attention back to her. “He was serious? He’s not in the Order anymore?”

“When your commanding officer goes insane and you realize how corrupt the Order is, you learn to leave eventually, apparently.”

Anders arched an eyebrow, then looked at the ice again. “That figures for him, really.”

“Why don’t you-?!” Cullen began, then cut himself off again and mumbled the rest.

Anders looked at Solona. “Well, your… taste in Companions hasn’t changed. At least he’s seemed to have removed the pole from his ass.”

“There’s the you I know…” she smiled weakly. “And be nice. He’s playing by your rules.”

“And how long will that last?” Anders countered.

Solona frowned at him, then squeezed his shoulder. “Be careful, okay? Stay out of trouble. Please.  I don’t want to come back and find you dead. And you know now I will come back to check.”

Anders sighed dramatically. “What, can’t find it in you to spare a few more minutes with an old friend?”

“It’s been a while, and I don’t know how well the others would take to find me talking calmly with the most wanted man in Thedas who’s bleeding out and I’m not finishing the job.”

“Fair enough…” he got out.

“I will see you,” Solona replied, and was relieved when he offered a smile in return. So it had sounded less like a threat then. Good. “With new clothes for you, too.”

“Fine. Go, leave me here,”

“You-“

There was a series of cracks behind her and a strangled yelp of alarm.

“And now you’re lapdog’s free and quite vocal. That must not work for you with a giant crowd.”

“Stop,” Solona insisted.

Anders put his hands up.

She was about to continue further when Cullen walked over, took her arm and started pulling her upright. “You know, Dorian’s going to start speculating soon and knowing him he’ll get it right, realize he’s right and start spreading rumors if we’re not careful.”

“So the one who follows the rulebook to a ‘T’ isn’t gonna turn the big bad apostate in? Even when a friend doesn’t want him to?” Anders asked.

“The rulebook’s flawed, Anders,” Cullen replied without so much as looking at him.

“Welcome to the cynical side of things, then,” Anders deadpanned.

Cullen finally looked at him, then took his waterskin off his belt and tossed it to the man. “Here. In case you’re still out of it.”

Anders didn’t bother hiding his look of surprise.

“I’m not doing this for you,” Cullen added. “Solona, we need to go,” he gave her arm an insistent tug.

Solona nodded quickly and gave Anders one final look before she let him lead her out of the cave. She made it a matter of feet before she stopped short and doubled over. The sobs started coming right after that.

Dorian was the first to rise out of the four and his frown deepened when she pushed past him, wiping furiously at her face. He turned to Cullen. “Is she…?” he made to walk over. “Who was?”

Cullen grabbed his shoulder. “Who it was is between us, and the ‘who’ is part of the problem.”

Dorian grunted and went to go after her, but Cullen stopped him. “Let me. It’s… complicated, and like it was when we went in, I’m afraid I’m the only one who… understands… most of what… her being upset is about-“

Dorian held up his hands to stop the man from going further. “You know, we heard her scream. We know it’s the one who blew the Chantry sky high,” Dorian instructed. “But… she seems like the level-headed sort, and if she wants to mourn him- or leave him, or if she’s just killed him, I’m not one to protest. I’ll stand by whatever decision she made.”

Cullen nodded back. “We’ll meet you back at camp. Go on ahead.”

Dorian made a mock bow, then left. Cullen watched him, then went after Solona. He found her a few feet away, hunched over by a rock wall. He sighed and approached her. After a few moments, he reached over and touched her shoulder.

She looked to the side, then smiled weakly at him. She wiped at her eyes again. “So when’s the ‘I told you so’ coming?”

Cullen frowned, then sighed. “It’s not,” he assured her. He looked her up and down, then sighed and raised his arms. “Come here…”

She pressed her lips into a thin line, then caved and did as requested. She leaned into him.

He rubbed her back hesitantly. He was silent for a while and Solona was starting to worry when his grip tightened on her slightly. “You loved him, didn’t you? More than a friend.”

Solona scoffed, then stopped short when she remembered just what he had said all those years ago at the Circle. Her heart sunk that it was him of all people asking that question. Worse, she couldn’t bring herself to lie to him at that moment. “A long time ago- the old him. The one who wouldn’t resort to… “ she stopped, and Cullen held her closer. She flinched, then shook her head. “He’s still a friend and to think all this… he was okay with dying after everything he’s been through- he used to love life, and that’s gone. I just… I can’t lose another one, Cullen, I can’t. I don’t care about what’s happened since that, but I know there’s going to be so many other losses and I don’t know what that’s going do to me anymore. How many other people am I going to lose?”

“If I could tell you to set your mind at ease, I would… as morbid as that sounds.”

“It’s appreciated,” she replied.

He pulled back from her. “Let’s get back to camp, then. It may help get your mind off of that. And you can send for Hawke when we’re there.”

She nodded, then sighed. “Promise me you won’t turn him in behind my back first? I think he’s been through enough.”  

He paused, then pinched the bridge of his nose. “I... lied to him. About not doing it for him. Partially, anyway. The man saved my life before this. That’s the least I can do, too.”

She frowned. “What?”

“The fight with Meredith. She was… furious when I turned on her, then when she let the lyrium take over…. Hawke and I were her main targets. She almost skewered me on her blade- would’ve if Anders hadn’t used some spell and blasted me back ten feet…” he explained. “If keeping my mouth shut about him to all but Ariadne is how I can repay that debt, then so be it.”

She absolutely beamed, and if he could pull her closer, Cullen would’ve. He nodded back towards the camp. “We’ll be the talk of the Hold with all this wandering off…”

“Worse things have happened," she bumped her shoulder into his. 

He smiled weakly. "Yes, I suppose they have.”


	6. Chapter 6

They reached camp after a few minutes to find that they were the only ones aside from a handful of soldiers who were actually back. They had gone on doing their own thing until Solona realized that one of Cullen’s ‘things’ was watching her and walking towards her before muttering to himself and walking back to his own spot again and repeating the process minutes later. After the fourth time, she decided to look at him in the middle of heading her way and smiling at him.

Cullen froze for a moment, then sighed. He glanced to the side and seemed to be working something out in his head before he walked the rest of the way over to her. He hesitated a few more moments before scratching his ear. “Do you mind if we… take a walk?”

“Is everything okay?” she asked.

“I should be asking you that, really…” Cullen pointed out.

She smiled weakly. “I’m… … I’ll be fine. Where did you have in mind?”

“The quarry we found over that way, maybe. I just… I need to talk to you, and if any of the others come back, I’d rather we could have this conversation in private. I feel terrible… wanting to have it now, but I fear we won’t get another chance any time soon.”

Her smile dropped as she realized just what this must’ve been about then. “Of course…” she got up and he nodded in their intended direction. She walked and he followed. When they made it to the quarry, she sat on the brick wall, and he stopped before he started to pace again.

After a few moments of watching him, Solona leaned forward. “Cullen …?”

After a few moments of silence, Cullen sighed. “Maker, this is really bad timing. I truly am sorry for dropping on you. It’s just… I just…it’s occurred to me I haven’t really…” he rubbed his face. “I don’t even know where to begin with this…” he sat next to her, then turned his body towards her carefully. “I… well, I suppose just come out with it. I need to apologize for… everything I said all those years ago at the Circle, and… ignoring you when you came back, it’s-“

She shook her head. “I’ve… well, _implied_ that I-“

He held up his hand to stop her.  “Please. I know you’re all about forgiveness, but… I need to say it. I was vile, and you saved my life and I couldn’t even look past my own hate, and… you had only ever been kind to me. You fought your way through the monsters who killed my friends and I just saw you as a mage and their weapon and… I’ve never forgiven myself for being so disrespectful to you…”

“It’s al-“

Cullen scoffed and shook his head. “It’s _not_. I should’ve- you deserved so much more than what I gave you back then, and… … I can only hope to make it up to you now.” He shook his head and looked down.

Solona watched him carefully for a while, then she reached over and took his hand, then carefully laced her fingers through his. “You’re already well on your way into doing that, and time healed wounds anyway, so I beg of you, don’t worry.” She frowned when he looked less than convinced, even when he couldn’t look at her, too distracted by their joined hands. “But that doesn’t change the fact that I understand. I would’ve snapped if demons used my friends against me, too.”

“You’ve braved things that were just as bad- and far worse. I failed miserably where you succeeded.”

“You’re still here. That’s… just as commendable,” she offered.

“I didn’t save the world,” he pointed out.

“I didn’t go through having my mind shredded by demons with visions centered on mages destroying everything and then come back from that and then go and defend mages in the short lived… war, if you could even call it that, and then befriend them these days.” She leaned into him further. “I was dumb enough to just… leave you, too-“

“You weren’t-“

“Now you hush,” Solona cut him off. “My turn.  You were one of my best friends from those days- circumstances and duty aside, and you were tortured. I’d be a pretty awful person to hold onto that against you for ten years. Even back then there were six of us who were dragged into the mess with no notice. Kat was there, Kat could’ve just… reported that I needed to stay behind for a while to check on you. I could’ve written you. Or Irving and asked him to check in on you. I- our- we both mucked… us up in the last few years. Now we’re here, things have… changed almost as much as possible. That’s a clean slate for us, we’ve done well so far with it, and I hope we can keep it that way. And that’s my piece with this.”

Cullen finally looked at her, and offered a sad yet hopeful smile.  “Thank you.”

She smiled, then carefully leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder. “So what do you say? Friends again with all of that behind us? Officially, now that we’ve… more or less had this big talk?”

“I’d like that…” Cullen offered.

Solona looked at him and both seemed to realize just how close they had been leaning. They stared and were silent for a while, watching and waiting. She muttered something under her breath, then leaned up further. “Cullen…”

Cullen bowed his head to meet her, then at the last second pulled up and touched his forehead to hers. “I don’t think- Maker, part of me wants this still- it’s practically unfinished business with you and I, but  you’ve been through quite the emotional last couple of hours and…”

“It’s. Fine,” she insisted, then went to close the last bit of distance. She was about to seal it when she stopped short. She sighed and let her head drop. “No, it’s not.”

He stilled and pulled back. “I’m sorry, I-“

Solona looked at him again and struggled to keep distance between them, but still stay physically close. “No, no! It’s not- I’m not going to explain it starting there. Point is here you are spilling your guts about something and-“she stopped short again when she heard distant yelling. Both turned in that direction only to see Dorian, Iron Bull, Blackwall and Rhia all charging their way. “And of course now there’s that…” She stood carefully, and Cullen did the same. “Wha- how are you  over here? I thought you were gone- and how did you meet back up?!”

Dorian reached them and grabbed her hand, then after a beat grabbed at Cullen’s gauntlet and dragged them along, and kept running. “Yes, sorry we had to interrupt what was a clearly sweet and potentially years-in-the-making moment, but we really must dash!”

“Why, Dorian? What’s-“

There was a roar behind them, and a couple of seconds later, a boulder went flying over their heads and Cullen had to shove Solona to the side and throw himself in the opposite direction to avoid them getting leveled by it.

The boulder landed directly where they had been standing, then the ground started shaking.

“What. Happened?!” Solona repeated.

“Well, you see, Rhia was just tracking landmarks with these two  and whatnot after we took down a giant and surprise, there were three more waiting for us around the corner and we have yet to lose them!”

“I thought you were with us though? Rhia was across the Graves. And where’s Arron?” Solona fired off.

“Exactly!” Dorian called. “Giants are very determined creatures and the rest of our friends were too stupid to not run in a straight line- you know, where camp is and we were. And your friend had the right idea and ran the other way to one of the other camps.”

“He abandoned you?!”

“No, got separated. I assure you, your man is most definitely not a coward.”

“Are we going to keep running or are we going to eliminate the problems then?!” Cullen objected.

Solona stopped short. “You know what? I am done running for the day…”

“Sol-“ Cullen began, and then barely managed to duck before an ice spell went over her head.

Dorian let out the most annoyed groan any of them had heard come out of his mouth, but stopped as well and fired off one of his own. “Well, Hero, what’s the plan?”

“Freeze, hit, run!” she called.

“Oh yeah! That’s the spirit. Can’t believe these jokes for fighters! I knew I liked her!” Iron Bull called. He raised his axe and ran right back at the giant.

It was at that moment when there was another roar, and the others looked to see Dirk appear over one hill. He looked panicked, and a moment later, they found out why. Apparently his method of escape from his own giant was wrangling a bronto, throwing himself onto it and letting it run off. Another man was behind him on horseback.

Dirk spotted them and waved his arm frantically before returning his grip onto the bronto for dear life. “You people might wanna move! This was most definitely not my most brilliant idea!”

“No, Ric, this _is_ the _worst_!  This surpasses the deep stalker hunt when we were seventeen,” the other man added.

“Shut. Up. Fairbanks! And I outgrew ‘Ric’ a few years back!” Dirk called. He threw himself off of the bronto when he reached the others and rolled to go back to back with his sister. Fairbanks went with a more graceful approach, bringing the horse to a halt before drawing his sword and dismounting.

The second giant showed up over the hill and the group scrambled to divide to take them both down.

A few minutes of the mentioned pattern passed, and they eventually managed to take down the two creatures.  

“Can we all vote on heading back to Skyhold and leaving the last one to its own devices then? My arms are killing me!” Dorian called.

“Seconded!” Dirk  added.

“Fine, but let’s get Arron first. Poor sod looks like he’d be utterly lost without us physically and literally.” She turned to her brother and Solona. “Sorry…”

“It’s fine. Also, poor guy got lost in Redcliffe Village five times over when he was alone, so you’re not far off,” Dirk shrugged.

“Alright, fine then, let’s get out of here before we find out those giants have parents…” Rhia instructed.

Dorian groaned. “Oh, you had to say that. Now we’ll run into them- and maybe their aunts and uncles too.”

Dirk tossed his arm around the man’s shoulders. “Big, arrogant mage is afraid of the giants, even if we took them down? Don’t worry, the big strong warriors’ll keep you safe.”

“Right, says the one who ran away from one on a bronto’s back, left Mister Orlesian over there in the dust, and brought the thing to us,” Dorian countered, then winked at the man when he smirked.

“Down, you too. Now come on. Let’s go,” Rhia insisted and gave the both of them a gentle shove in the camp’s direction.

They all settled down and started on their way.

After a few minutes, Solona dropped back to where Cullen was. “Hey…”

“Hi…”

She glanced at her hands, then sighed and shook her head. “About before, I just-“

Cullen smiled weakly. “It’s fine. It’s just… bad timing. It’s always been bad timing with us,” he leaned back, then the smile dropped. “It might always be…”

“It’s not _this_ time. I… just have a bunch of things to sort out and the last thing I’d want is to drag you into them and I was just really, really too hopeful for a minute there, and…” she exhaled sharply, leaned up and kissed the corner of his mouth, then tucked her forehead by his chin. She tried to hide her light laugh when he finally seemed to remember to breathe a few moments later. “Let’s just… try to make the world a bit safer before we start anything.”

“Sounds perfectly reasonable,” he replied.

She took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze again before she turned and left.

DA DA DA DA

Solona glanced up when there was a knock at her door. “Come in!”

Leliana slipped through the door and closed it behind her. “So, rumor has it that the Commander’s a little more smiley than usual, and Dorian’s been running his mouth about an interrupted moment between you two-“

“Of course he is,” Solona sighed. “He’s a good man but he doesn’t know when to shut his mouth,” she continued, then sat on her bed.

“Sounds like someone else we know,” Leliana replied.

“The one on the throne, or our favorite Crow?”

“First one, but have you heard from Zevran?”

“Somewhat recently. He’s… himself. Spending all the money he can and wishing us well, saying he misses us. The usual.”

“I do miss that fool. Wish he didn’t have to be in the wind. It’s almost good that I came here because really if you combine Dorian and Rhia, from what I’ve seen and heard-“

“I thought the same thing! It’s like we have them in spirit with those two.” Leliana beamed and took her friend’s hand. “But alas, you are changing the subject. Are you and the Commander…?”

“No- ye- maybe? Eventually? I’m not exactly sure. We… even tried to… name… what was between us but we even put it off,” she shrugged and leaned back to lay down, and Leliana went with her. “I doubt it’ll interfere with Inquisition business, if that’s what you’re getting at.”

“It most certainly was not, but the thought is most appreciated,” Leliana replied. “I just had to make sure the gravity of what my sources may hear or not… … and how heavily to tease Cullen at the war table.”

“Leave him _alone_ , Leli…” she muttered. She rolled her eyes when Leliana laughed in response. “Moving on from this: Remember those favors you owed me back in the day? I need you to repay one of them for me.”

To her credit, Leliana was immediately all business again. “Is everything alright?”

“We’ll see. I… I just need to leave for a while to look for something. I could use a handful of people who could go with me- and… be trusted with secrets.”

Leliana frowned, business stance all but gone again. “Are you in trouble with anyone?”

“No, I just… I need to find something, and if news gets out on what it is, no one will be happy.”

“Should _I_ travel with you, then? I've been here the whole time, some new scenery may not hurt” Leliana asked. “If it’s trust you want in your party, it sounds like Cul-“

“No. Definitely not him…” she dismissed. “The man’s been through too much with magic, the last thing I want to do is drag him through more.”

“So this is a magical issue?” Leliana pressed.

“Kind of,” she replied. When the other woman frowned at her. “I’m worried about what things will happen if the exact details get out. Leli, I love you, but this is looking out for you and recruiting you too.”

“So… secrets are… more reasonable than the truth to a friend?” Leliana asked.

“Yes, in this case. If it gets out, it may make what’s already a bad situation worse. I have a feeling it coincides with Ariadne’s… thing too, so it’ll come to a head, it just can’t yet. I need your word that you won’t tell anyone.”

“You have my word- unless things change and not knowing becomes worse than knowing,” Leliana agreed.

“Fair enough, and believe me, if it starts going that way, I’ll be the one giving details myself. Thank you.”

Leliana nodded. “I trust you with my life. You’re one of my best friends. But please don’t make me regret this.”

“I won’t. I promise.”


	7. Chapter 7

When Solona came back a matter of days later, Cullen went through a range of emotions in the mere first few minutes of her being in the vicinity of Skyhold. He had been relieved to see her in one piece and happy, judging from her laugh at whatever Dirk had just said. When she left she was pale and couldn’t bring herself to even smile. Something was desperately wrong and it hurt him that she woudn’t come to him about it. Worse yet it was like she was deliberately going to other people about it and not him. That was what had kept him on watch by the battlements over the front gate when she had gotten back.

It had been a few minutes and most of the residents had come to greet her and talk there as Leliana, Dirk and Arron departed on their own way.

It wasn’t that he wasn’t relieved to see her alive and well, and it wasn’t meant to visibly snub her, but he assumed distance would be his friend there.

But his own happiness was short lived when he saw another person coming a matter of feet away. His archers had panicked and immediately started to set up shots. Leliana, on the other hand walked forward a few feet away, seemed to recognize the stranger and immediately called off the archers, going as far as throwing a dagger at the one who was so deep in concentration that he hadn’t caught the order.

Solona turned to see what the commotion was about, and Cullen couldn’t make out what she had said, but he watched her when she ran to the stranger and tossed her arms around him, and the stranger was more than happy to return the hug.

Cullen’s heart sank when the stranger kissed her to boot. His eyes were glued to her reaction, and her grip on the stranger tightened and looked uncomfortable for a minute, but she was still grinning from ear to ear and she started talking to him quietly.

“You have nothing to worry about with him, you know…”

Cullen jumped, then turned to see Leliana right beside him. She spared him a glance before looking back down at the stranger. She waved when the elf in question looked up.

“Leliana! My lovely murder goddess! I would recognize you anywhere! How fare you?” the stranger called up.

“Fine, Zevran, but curious as to why you’re here!” Leliana called back.

“A matter to which I will have to discuss with your people!” Zevran, the elf, replied.

“Then come in- soldiers, open the gate!” Leliana called. She turned her attention back to Cullen. “His eyes are not at all on Lona,” she continued.

“What- why would that matter?” Cullen blurted and straightened out.

Leliana laughed. “Do you really think those requisitions officers are just there to tell our people to get things they can easily get themselves? That I wouldn’t hear about a particular event by a quarry before things went downhill?”

Cullen opened and shut his mouth for a while. “I- I- it’s- we haven’t..." he stopped and inhaled sharply, and it was enough to get his professional facade up. "My duties and hers will not be-“

“Cullen…” Leliana immediately stopped laughing and touched his arm reassuringly. “Do not fret. Lona is one of my best friends. You are a good man. Both of you have been through so much pain, you deserve some semblance of happiness- together or not. And from what I understand, it’s about damn time for you two.  Besides…” he leaned forward and nodded at the stranger. “Our visitor, the elf- he’s an old friend too, and his attention is far more _invested_ in _the King and Queen_.”

Cullen stared, then the pieces came together and he gawked at her. “You mean…”

“He’s their most trusted advisor for a reason.”

“ _That’s_ the former Crow?” Cullen asked and sized up the elf again. He paused. “And a Crow would be okay with the spymaster releasing a secret like that of his?”

“If he likes you and assumes Kat and Alistair would like you, he doesn’t exactly bother hiding his affections, so it’s not much of a secret. And I couldn’t not say anything after you pulled that face.”

“He kissed her!” he insisted and then flinched at how immature he sounded over it.

Leliana laughed. “It’s his way. She had a crush back in the day and he was the kind who respected it until other feelings got in the way.” She looked at him. “You’re still smitten. It’s kind of cute.”

“So… encouraging it is his way? It’s not fair to anyone,” Cullen replied. “And… it’s not ‘smitten’… per se.”

“It’s the way that he does it that people don’t mind it. It’s not exactly encouraging as much as it’s honoring. Once you meet him, you’ll understand.”

He wasn’t exactly sure if he wanted to, Leliana’s pep talk aside, but he had a feeling that was as much of an assurance as an invitation. He sighed. "Fine, I'll go see to his arrova;." 

"See to her, too." 

"Oh, _quiet_..." he backed up, then headed for the stairs closest to the gate. He made it down them, then walked over to them and offered a short bow to Solona before he eyed Zevran before he turned his attneion back to her. “Solona…”. He had no idea where the boldness came from, but he stepped closer to Solona and ran his hand over her hip briefly and then turned to Zevran again. "Who's this?"  

Solona arched an eyebrow at him at first, then looked pointedly at his hand that hadn't moved, and to his own surprised she leaned into the touch after a moment. She smiled her old friend. The action didn’t seem lost on him either, judging by the way his eyes flicked from Cullen’s hand to her and she knew that knowing grin too well. She rolled her eyes. “Zevran, this is Command-“

“The one you were a heartbreaker for, yes, I do recall. Aged quite well, if I do say so myself." 

Cullen’s possessiveness dropped, as did his hand. “ _Excuse me_?" 

Solona looked as confused as he did, then frowned, understanding. She contemplated even explaining after a moment, then threw caution to the wind. “He was… at the Circle.”

Cullen’s frown deepened. He remembered now. He vaguely remembered the elf now. He had been mostly been silhouetted from the red glow around him. There had been something the elf had said after his confession that had made Solona full on shove the elf backward before she knelt as close to the barrier as she could to address him. He had a feeling that’s why the newcomer looked much like the cat who ate the canary. “Ah…”

“So the… heartbreaking has stopped, judging by certain… actions?” the elf smirked. The action made Cullen ten times as uncomfortable as he had started to get after the aging comment. 

“Zev…” Solona warned. “Which reminds me, you cut me off- if you don’t remember, Cullen, the Commander of the Inquisition's forces. Cullen, this is Zevran Arainai.”

Zevran did an over-exaggerated bow.

Solona sighed again, then more thoughts caught up with her. “Zev, not that I'm not relieved to see you, but what're you doing here? And have you so much as heard from Kat yet?”

To his credit, then elf’s arrogance dropped. “Simply visiting and offering my services if they're needed. As for our Kat, I haven’t, mi corazón…” he trailed off. He spotted Leliana making her way over and opened his arms for Leliana when she showed up. “You. Come.”

Leliana laughed and hugged him. “I’ve been trying to get you here for ages. Of course you would come on your own time.”

“Yes. But were you really worried I would let you two handle things on your own? Forget about the old days? For shame.”

She smiled and looped her arm through his. “I could use a second opinion on certain missions. Why don’t you come with me and we’ll let these two go off on their own?”

Zevran offered a knowing smile that Cullen wanted to punch right off his face, winked, then let let Leliana lead him away.

Cullen waited a few moments, then turned to her. “Did you find what you were looking for?”

“I’m afraid not. What about our uh, common friend? Did she find our… cave dweller?”

Cullen nodded. “She did. I just don’t think it… quite ended well…”

She frowned. “She didn’t-“

He shook his. “Didn’t harm him by the sound of it, but there may have been a talk that left hearts broken.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Poor thing. By the sound of things that’s the last she needs- either of them, really. She's been through so much. I have little sympathy for him, but her... no one deserves any more pain than she's been through..." he shook his head. "Have you-"

“YOU!” came a new voice. 

“Damn…” Cullen muttered. He ducked, just as Rhia came sailing down from the staircase into the main hall.

Solona stepped back and watched the sight to behold. Rhia rolled into her landing and bounced back before launching herself back at Cullen. Cullen, to his credit, blocked every single swing like she had done them all before.

After he blocked the swipes and then sidestepped to avoid a kick, Solona was convinced that Rhia had, in fact, done the attack quite a lot lately. 

“Give. Me. The records!” Rhia insisted.

“No! Josephine’s right! You’re better off not having all the answers before you go!”

“Yes, but you said-“

“I’m a man surrounded by women do you really think my opinion would mean anything-“

Rhia slapped him lightly for that one before he could even finish the statement, then continued. “Well, being that you’re the only one on my side with wanting to know the information-“

“I don’t want to go because I’m not one to deal with nobility!” Cullen countered. 

“ _I’m_ nobility!” Rhia objected.

“Right, and you’re acting the part completely now.”

 “Because I don’t want to muck this up! Amell, tell him!”

“I, uh- what’s going on that’s prompted this?” Solona asked. "Apparently being gone a matter of days really does shove one out of the loop." 

Cullen sighed heavily “There's a Ball. It’s the perfect place to gain allegances and show people we’re not going to die out in a matter of weeks. Basically it’s a bunch of ridiculously arrogant people in a small space playing the Game. I’m not at all in favor of going, literally everyone else _is_ -“

Rhia scoffed.

“-Except Rhia and Dirk and some of the other companions.”

“And I don’t want to be caught unawares when I’m not just some noble family’s youngest daughter who’s ‘ready to wed’!” Rhia objected. “Cullen, come on! I’m fine with going, I just need information!”

“We have enough to prepare for on our own with this thing. Go… make sure you know how to waltz properly or something," he countered. 

“Right, because the dancing is the most important part of the damn thing…” she muttered. 

Cullen opened his mouth.

She squinted at him. “Shut up, I know it actually is one of the most important things to focus on…” she sighed when he crossed his arms over his chest. “Fine!” she turned on her heel to look at Solona. “What about you? How’d your little quest go, and if it’s done going, I could use a mage on my side there- especially one as famous as you.”

“She’d be put in danger!” Cullen objected.

“I’m always in danger these days, Cullen,” Solona corrected after a moment. “I didn’t find what I was looking for, but being… around people playing the Game may work for me. Besides, if they’ll start trouble, what’s a small sheet of ice thin enough to not be noticed on overly waxed floors but enough to make them slip, hm?”

Rhia positively beamed at that. She threaded her elbow through the other woman’s. “I like you. I think I’ll keep you for future events like this. Cullen, can we keep her around after she’s done with her own thing that’s keeping her here? Please?”

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Back to the ‘you two would be in constant danger’ part…”

 “Well, that’s why us girls should stick together,” Solona replied and put a hand over their linked elbows. “If it’s just alliances we need the Inquisition will do best showing its big players. It shows we’re not afraid of anything and we’re stronger in numbers.”

Rhia bounced on her heels. “Thank you!” She looked at Cullen. “So about that information…?”

“Get Leliana or Josephine to divulge it, _if you can_. I’m not doing it. I’m not risking you being… too aware there.”

“Bu-“

“That’s. Final,” Cullen insisted.

“Fine,” Rhia replied. “Well then, one of the Heroes of Ferelden and I have a Ball to prepare for. If you’ll excuse us, Commander…” she took Solona’s hand and dragged her away.

Solona, to her credit, turned as she was guided and offered an apologetic smile before she turned back and went shoulder to shoulder with Rhia, whispering something to the younger woman that got her to giggle.

Cullen watched them go, then heaved a sigh.

They were either going to be perfectly fine at the Ball, or fail spectacularly. There was no in between.

He just hoped they would all survive either outcome.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. Life kicked me in the butt. I planned to have Wicked Grace, Wicked Hearts as one whole chapter, but then the set-up ended up being longer than I thought it would be and then a lot of time passed, so I figured give you guys this just to hold you over til the next bit. Enjoy.

Cullen sighed heavily when he reached Solona’s door. He had known taking on one of the recruits that had far too much exercise and therefore momentum for the current practives was going to end badly, but getting dropped so hard his shoulder had ached for hours to the point where he couldn’t not favor it was bad for multiple reasons. Going to Solona to try and get it healed up so he could at least stop flinching at every wrong movement seemed like it was going to make appearances worse, but he was running out of choices. He knocked on the door. “Solona? It’s Cullen. Do you have a moment?”

“Yes, come in!”

Cullen opened the door, then had to sidestep the blur of brown fur that somehow managed to dart and hobble out of the room, narrowly missing his shin in the process. He realized it was Red and chuckled. “You and Rhia are going to have to force our stables to become sort of… menagerie, you know. I thought the original plan was to _heal_ that one and then _release it_. He’ll be far too attached to us to leave when that time comes.”

“He’s a good source of morale, remember? It won’t be too bad having him around. He’s hardly making trouble.”

“Right, and the young wyverns that Rhia's having looked after and trained to be mounts? Are they not making trouble either?" Cullen countered. 

“Let it never be said she’s not determined,” she shrugged. “They’re powerful animals. Could be formidable opponents if come need be."

“… Rhia was just encouraging ‘Trixie’ to chase her tail. Opponents indeed..." Cullen shook his head. "We need to focus." 

"Yes, but we need to breathe a bit, too. We can't have everyone overworked," Solona countered. "Overworked leads to being tired, which leads to mistakes. Let people enjoy the little things for what they're worth, even for a little while." She sat back on the setee in the corner, and upon watching him walk to join her when she motioned for him to do so, she made a face. “You’re hurt.”

Cullen went to rub the back of his neck, then flinched when it was just enough movement to earn him a stitch of pain. “Yes, that’s what I came here about. Fell a bit too hard in training and I didn’t want to see the recruits start getting… confident, taking orders from a Commander who’s tense the rest of the day.”

“You don’t want your own people to see that their commander is human, just like them?” Solona asked.

“They need _discipline_ , and it would be best coming from one who doesn’t let pain to get to them, and here I am, arm immobile over a bad fall. I can't ignore that."

“They need to know that people can persevere even after mistakes, like I just said. They need to breathe, even for a few moments. We’re bound to make some mistakes, but we can decide which things become them. They need to know that it’s possible that they can move on and emerge the victor, still. Take a hit and keep on going.”

Cullen knew from her tone and sudden far-away look she wasn’t just talking about the recruits anymore. He just wished he knew what it was in reference to. “Is that your way of saying you’re off from healing for the day and you’re not going to help me? That a fennec gets better treatment than I?” he offered to diffuse the situation.

“Hush, you. You know that’s not the case. But maybe I’ll just do it this time so you can listen to me and deal with it the next,” She took hold of the injured arm’s shoulder pauldron to get it away from the sleeve, then started up a healing spell with her other hand and let it hover. When he flinched and muttered something containing ‘pathetic’ ‘small fall’ and ‘ridiculous’, she smiled.   “We’re not as young as we used to be. Our bodies aren’t going to accept pain the same way. It’s bound to happen sometime.”

“I know…” Cullen sighed. He watched the light fade from her hand, and when she pulled back, he gave his arm an experimental rotation. “That is… much better.” He settled back in the seat. “I'm to understand Leliana and Josephine have given you a part in this Ball, from what I’ve heard. What is it?”

“Apparently not far from yours. Stand around, look regal, get information where I can, and be on hand if things go south and people need healing.”

Cullen nodded carefully, then sighed. “I don’t like that you’re dragged into this.”

“I’ve survived worse,” she offered. “If I can handle giant dragons, demons and bewitched… things, I can handle a few pompous asses. Take Dorian, for example…” she added with a grin.

“Yes, but he’s a pompous ass with a heart of gold- or _tarnished_ gold. And believe me, I know you’ve had worse…” he replied. “Just… be careful, alright? Who knows who will have eyes and ears there who want you and your counterparts dead.”

“The Aeducans haven’t left Orzammar, Kat’s in the wind, Tabris is back home but is in no danger because she’s an elf and humans are the ones calling the shots with hunts for us- humans who aren't fond of elves or elven lands, so she's safe. They’re all safe.”

“Then that just leaves all attention on you,” Cullen insisted.

“Which is why I’m not going as Solona Amell. Josephine worked out a cover, some… distant cousin of hers, twice removed. You’re looking at Lady Alara Colierre.”

 Cullen nodded carefully, then glanced up when there was a knock on the door. She sent him an apologetic look, then got it. The man frowned when it was the elvish assassin that had visited not too long ago at the other side.

Zevran smiled at her, then spotted Cullen in the back and his grin turned damn near predatory. He slipped carefully into the room and almost flounced over to them.  “Forgive me, I am interrupting something, no?”

“Not yet, no," Solona replied. 

Cullen wasn’t sure what to think about the ‘yet’ bit, let alone her saying it in front of the comrade who had a permanent smirk and a filthy mind. After a moment, he dropped the concern and looked back at Zevran, The elf had been in some fancy armor the last time he had seen him, but now he was in a royal blue suit of sorts, not unlike the Inquisition’s. “What’s this about?”

Solona beamed. “Solona shrugged. “Why, where would stoic, poised Comtesse Alara be without her trusty elven servant? It gives Alara a scandal in the making by just talking with him as an equal, and us another spy to work with.” She caught his uneasy look. “Zev’s one of the most loyal people I know. If it’s one person we can trust to know what he’s doing and get us out of a bind if come need be, it’s him.”  She winked at Zevran, and he bowed his head in quick thanks as well.

Cullen looked between them. "Loyal...?" he murmured. He walked closer to her. "Leliana told me the only reason you and the others found him was because he was hired to kill all of you." 

"And Kat talked him down, we all made the best mistake of our lives by trusting and befriending him, and here we are," Solona insisted. "It'll be fine." 

Zevran grinned again, and the look in his eyes made Cullen all easy again. The elf did a quick bow, hand flourish and all. “Much appreciated, mi amor, and the feelings are quite mutual. But I have also come by to tell you Lady Josephine has requested your presence. There’s last minute details about Lady Alara to be sorted out.”

Cullen couldn’t believe it, no matter what Solona or Leliana had to say about the assassin. “Josphine is alright with this?”

“As we said, we can cause more of a distraction if come need be. It’ll be fine,” she insisted. She kissed the corner of his mouth, then stepped back. “It’s going to be a lot to juggle for a while, so I’ll see you at the Palace.”

“Alright,” Cullen sighed. He knew Solona was getting more and more headstrong by the hour- no doubt from being around the Trevelyan siblings- the most headstrong pair he had met- so he knew there was no more arguing. “Farewell, then. I’ll see you soon.”

She offered a reassuring smile, then led Zevran out of the room.

* * *

 

A couple of days later, the residents of Skyhold were just short of frantic, and those who weren’t frantic were generally busy with their own tasks. Josephine, Solona, Leliana, Rhia, Zevran and a handful of spies had gone a few hours ahead of the next group headed to the Ball, and now everyone who was headed there were regrouping in the main hall. He glanced around at everyone. Dirk, Dorian and Blackwall were in one corner, laughing away at whatever their conversation had come to.  Cullen was surprised at how at ease Dirk seemed to be about the whole thing, for someone who apparently hated his nobility and the pomp and circumstance that came with it. He had mentioned just going to back up his sister, so there was that, but it was still odd. That being said, the men were the best fighters of the bunch, so if things did go extremely south like he expected, they’d all be taken care of. 

He wondered who the last one who was going to be inside the action was, until the answer walked up behind him.

“Did Goldie leave with the early crowd, Curly? It’s weird not seeing you two together now…” Varric mused. When Cullen blinked at him, he frowned. “Goldie- _Amell_. Heart of gold, get it?" when Cullen merely blinked at him, he sighed. "Red was taken- an old friend, not the fox- and any healer-related name I came up with seemed too mean for her.”

Cullen snorted, then nodded. “She has. What’re you doing here? I doubt… diplomatic parties are your thing.”

Varric chuckled and shrugged. “They’re not, but if Snark wants me to show, I’ll show. Besides, Hawke's been … out of it, since wherever she went after she and Goldie talked, so I might as well give her some air.”  

Cullen frowned, suddenly not sure if Ariadne had told him about Anders or not. It seemed odd if he hadn’t, but maybe Varric just didn’t know he had been there, either. “She’ll get over whatever it is. She’s strong.”

Varric’s smile was back. “Yeah, she will.  Thanks, Curly. So, we’ve got some soldiers, Sparkler, Muscles, Hero… the gang looks like it’s all here who’s going. What’re we waiting for?”

“Nothing, I assume. Let’s make sure everyone’s set then, and we’ll be off.”

“Sounds like a plan," Varric nodded. He turned and started to walk away, then stopped. "Well, shit..." 

Cullen frowned. "What?" 

"That look. You know what has Hawke upset." When Cullen made no motion to respond, Varric sighed again. "You found Anders." 

Cullen paused, then looked down at his hands. "Yes, we did." 

"He dead?" 

"No, but... might as well be, the way he looked." 

"... _Good_." 

"Varric?" 

"Curly?"

"She _will_ be alright," Cullen assured him after a moment. 

"Yeah, I know. I'll see you around." 

"Goodbye." 

* * *

 

 

When they reached the Palace, it was another surprise for Cullen to see just how well the Trevelyans fit in once he had found them. The siblings were visions in the matching red coats.  Rhia’s excess energy was all but gone, and she was graceful and reserved- shy smiles and gentle arm touching everywhere. The change was baffling. Dirk wasn’t far off from just how much his sister had changed, but the staged, polite smile didn’t reach his eyes, and he was stiff and it showed every once in a while. Together, however, the discomfort all but disappeared entirely, since they had each other to work off of. Cullen figured that came with not being so happy with nobility and only having each other to share in that view. Of course being together would complete the act.  

A few minutes later,  and Cullen had avoided a third noble’s groping attempt on him. He drifted over to Dirk and tried not to make it show that he was using the man’s size to hide in the corner.

It, of course, wasn’t lost on Dirk himself. The man stepped back to him. “You know, if we can fake it you can.”

“You’re better actors than I,” Cullen countered. “Have you seen Solona?”

“Gonna use her as your human shield? Try and show her off to the nobles as the one you have your eye on to get their eyes off of you?” Dirk teased.

“I’m… not exactly opposed to that idea..." Cullen admitted, but was careful not to look the other man in the eye. 

Dirk let out a bark of a laugh, then clapped him on the back. “You poor sod. And no, not for a while. Some noble was getting awfully friendly before and she had to set the edge of his sleeve on fire and say it happened by a candle to get him away from him, so she may be in the vestibule or courtyard to get away.”

“Then where’s the… Crow fellow?! He should've kept the man away from her!" 

"Zevran _was_ going to stab him. Lona didn't let him. An accident is better than actual harm, don’t you think?" Dirk shot back. After a few moments of silence, he frowned. "Don’t tell me you’re one of those possessive louts. I did travel with her. We are friends- she's almost as much of a sister to me than Rhia is.  I’m inclined to knock some sense into-“

“I’m _not_ ,” Cullen snapped. After a moment, he sighed. “I’m going to check on them. You want to join me?”

“Anything to get me out of here,” Dirk agreed. The pair of them waved at Leliana, then nodded at the door. When the spymaster caught their meaning and nodded, they headed out.

However, they had barely made it a matter of feet outside of the room before someone ran full-on into Cullen. Cullen blanched, but when he realized it was Rhia- looking very alert, at that, he frowned. It deepened when Solona- and in the deep blue dress and the full face mask made it take him a moment to realize it was even her- came around the corner with Zevran fell into step with the others. Part of him wanted to continue staring because she was a sight for sore, tired and fed up eyes, but the other part of him promptly reminded him he had more important things to worry about.

 She nodded a quick greeting at the men, then looked at Rhia. “It’s done.”

Cullen looked between them. “What’s-"

Rhia scoffed and shoved a handful of papers against his chest, and he scrambled to take them and see what was written on them about any potential plot of varying legality. She exhaled sharply and tried to gather her nerves. “Trouble’s on its way, judging by all of the whispers going on, and I have to keep up with these blasted bells because that’s the _proper_ thing to do, and it’s ridiculous-“ she was cut off when there was loud, echoing tapping that came from their right. It sounded like those fancy shoes Leliana adored clicking against the floor, and sure enough, a feminine voice followed it. 

“Well well well, is the famed Inquisition having trouble playing by my people’s rules?”

The group turned to see the speaker, a dark-haired woman decending the staircase to their right, smiling away at them.

Cullen turned when he heard Solona inhale sharply, and even Zevran suddenly looked quite surprised. Sure enough, after a moment Solona pulled her mask up and off. “Morrigan?!”

The woman, Morrigan, went from looking predatory to mortified. "Solona? You're with the Inquisition?“

“Morrigan? Is that how you greet old friends?” Zevran countered. “And not even a mention of me. How rude.” When Morrigan merely offered an eyeroll in his direction, he absolutely beamed and shrugged innocently. 

Cullen looked back and forth again. Well, at least that answered the ‘old friend’ bit.

Solona smiled and walked over to the other woman.

Morrigan sized her up, then put her hand out. “No, no, I know that look, don’t you-“ she sighed when the other woman pulled her into a hug. She sighed dramatically and slouched against her, but didn’t return it. “Now you’ve gone and ruined my grand entrance.”

When the other mage hardly looked phased, Cullen sighed. “Would someone kindly explain what’s going on?”

Solona opened her mouth to respond, but Morrigan elbowed her way in front of her. “As my old travelling companion has already mentioned, my name is Morrigan. I am advisor to Celene, and as I’ve noticed with your dear Herald’s snooping around, I too sense something isn’t right, and I’d like to figure out just how wrong everything is. Being that you and your people seem to want the same, I’m here to offer help.”

Cullen scowled. “I don’t-“

“In time, Templar. Right now, I must speak alone with the Herald…” Morrigan replied.

Cullen stepped forward, but Rhia pushed him back. “It’s fine. I’ll go.” She turned her attention back to the witch. “Where to?”

“For a walk. Just around the grounds, here. Nothing extravagant," Morrigan snapped. "I hope not to take your attention for much longer. I understand you all have... work to do.”

Rhia nodded and motioned at Morrigan to lead the way.

The men and Solona watched them go. After they disappeared, Dirk turned to Zevran. “Zev…”

“I doubt you have anything to worry about with our mutual friend, but I will follow if you so wish..." Zevran agreed. 

“We so wish,” Cullen cut in.

Zevran bowed his head, then turned to trail the women.

Cullen and Dirk rounded on Solona and crossed their arms over their chests before looking at her expectantly.

“She was a friend- acquaintance, really,  from back in the Blight days. The last time any of us saw her was the day we fought the Archdemon. She and Kat spoke about… what she was doing, where she was going, but I never got the story- Kat and her were more friends than her and I were. She’s not… she doesn’t... _do well with people,_ but she’s not going to physically harm anyone unless absolutely necessary. Words are her weapon more than magic is.”

The pair didn’t look convinced.

Solona sighed. “Well then, it’s not like she’s in any worse danger with a mage than these nobles, is she?”

Dirk snorted. “Lona, you have no idea.”

She made a face. “Yes, but for all of those comments about all of us being at risk here, it’s… been relatively quiet.”

“The night’s still young…” Cullen mused.

“He’s right,” Dirk nodded. “Usually with these kinds of parties, the night’s not over til someone’s either publically humiliated for life, or dead. Maybe both,” Dirk quipped, and then after a moment his smile faded and looked like he was remembering something. He forced a smile again after another few moments of utter silence. “Well, maybe things’ll be different this time. The world’s got different priorities at the moment.”

He knew, of course, that it was too much to ask.

After all, it was only about ten minutes after that where all Hell broke loose. 


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Sorry about the wait. Life got in the way again, as did my laptop dying. Anyway, not exactly thrilled with this chapter, but it gets the story from point A to B. Soooo, enjoy.**

* * *

For the first time that night, Cullen wasn't sure whether the events of the Game, or behind the scenes during the Game were the riskier ones. A mere few minutes ago he had been trying to deflect the eighth marriage proposal of the night- second only to Rhia's five proposals when he had looked out one of the nearest windows- just in time to see some strangely-clothed person weilding daggers flip outside onto one of the balconies- and then get tackled off of said balcony by Dirk after the man had thrown himself out of the same window. It had been quite the struggle afterward, worrying about just what fresh Hell the Trevelyans, Solona, Blackwall, Dorian and Cole were getting themselves into, but now having to run damage control and having to keep people away from the windows and seeing what was going on was proving more difficult by the instant. Giving Rhia an alibi when a noble asked was one thing. Trying to talk different nobles that no, a man who gave Blackwall a run for his money on body size alone did not just fall from that balcony, that's preposterous, Lord Gallus is _quite_ drunk and in no shape to make such claims'' was another entirely- especially when there was the hum of magic, some glowing in the distance and then suddenly Dirk was back on the balcony, trying to get free of Dorian, who was trying to drag him back over the railing.

He was going to kill all of them after this. If they survived whatever was going on out there.

A few minutes after, apparently they had- but barely. They had all come back into the ballroom looking worse for wear- Rhia was limping and favoring one shoulder, Dirk was trying and failing to disguise being hunched over in pain to the point that Dorian had taken to helping him stay upright and every gentle touch on his abdomen was made to look like he was laughing at something Dirk had said. The only thing with that- Dirk wasn't laughing. There was something murderous in the man's expression that Cullen had never seen on him before . Dorian himself, Zevran, Blackwall, Cole and Solona all seemed to have gotten away with a few scratches compared to the others. The former two seemed ready for action, so he was worried about what was to come all over again.

He had immediately gone over to see what needed to be done because time was running out for Celene, or all of Orlais, really, but Rhia all but shoved him out of the way before advancing onto the ballroom floor. "What...?!"

"Let it happen. I promise it's deserved. She's not doing anything to ruin us." Solona murmured from beside him.

Cullen made a face at her. "How do you expect us to-"

"We have just had quite the last... hour. Everything's far more complicated than we thought, and this... this is the first piece of the puzzle we have to make sure things don't get worse quickly..." Solona explained. She touched his cheek. "Trust me, trust  _her._ "

"Florianne! Surprised to see me, are you? Well, we can't have that. This is your party. We wouldn't want them to think you had lost control!" Rhia mused from her spot below.

Cullen's head snapped in her direction, and when the murmurs of the crowd drowned her out, he looked back at Solona for support. "What. Happened?"

"We had about five different plots to kill Rhia all go off at once," Blackwall, who had come up behind them a matter of seconds before murmured.

"-You even framed your brother for the murder of a council emissary..." Rhia continued on her rant.

Cullen frowned. "What is she...?"

"Turning the tables," Solona supplied. "Winning the game..."

Florianne started to back up and told Rhia something Cullen didn't catch, and he groaned. "This never ends well..."

The crowd quieted down when Celene stood up. "That will be a matter for a judge to decide, cousin..."

Florianne turned to her brother. "Gaspard? You cannot believe this! You know I would never..."

Gaspard merely shook his head and walked away, and a handful of Celene's guards started to advance on her. Cullen waited a moment, then motioned for a pair of their own guards to flank them.

"You lost this fight ages ago, Your Grace. You're just the last to find out..." Rhia pointed out.

Cullen watched the woman collapse, then get dragged off by the guards. He watched Rhia ask to speak with Celene alone, and he still wasn't sure if things were going to stay as... relatively peaceful as they were then. Even when Celene and Rhia came back, arm in arm, and Celene went on about peace in Orlais and the world and pledging allegiance to the Inquisition – she was still going to rule on her own, apparently. He just hoped it would last- for their sake, more than Orlais', he would have to admit.

Soon after, the crowd had begun to disperse, Rhia had gone off on her own for a while, much to his annoyance. He settled for waiting back in the corner he had spent most of the night in and hoped nobody would dawdle much longer.

"You look exhausted, Commander. Too many marriage proposals in a day?"

He turned to Solona and chuckled. "For a lifetime. Are we leaving yet?"

"Not that I know of. Still have a fair bit of grovelling to do."

"I hate politics."

"We all do..." she assured him. "It'll be good to get out of here." She leaned into him and threaded her arm around his bent elbow.

"You'll start another scandal, Lady Alara."

"What's another flirt or marriage proposal that'll be shrugged off by that 'awful, attractive, rude man'?"

" _That's_  what they're saying about me?" Cullen asked, horrified.

"Mostly."

He groaned again. "Just what the Inquisition needs..."

"Everyone'll know how to handle idle gossip."

Cullen made a face, then spotted Leliana waving at them from across the room. "It's time..."

"Shame Alera and the Commander didn't have time for a dance," Solona offered and gave him a smile merely meant for him to return it.

He did. "I would've much preferred a dance with the mage Hero of Ferelden, actually."

"Flatterer," she countered. She unlooped her arm from his in order to take his hand and lead him toward Leliana and the others when she waved. "Let's not keep them waiting. Now we have a Dutchess to deal with, and all that."

To say Cullen was skeptical at best about continuing home when they made it two-thirds of the way and nothing had gone wrong was the other biggest understatement in a while. He had gone so far as to keep his hand on the hilt of his sword while walking, because nothing ever went so well with them.

Of course, when things went wrong, he had wished he had actually been optimistic for once.

He had been trying to hear anything but the story Solona was weaving when an older recruit had asked how she knew the Commander when there had been shouting from the back part of the middle of the crowd- where Florianne was, he had realized, and his stomach had gone into a knot. He turned sharply and went to shove his way through the crowd, drawing his sword as he went. He wasn't at all surprised when Rhia was at his side a few moments later, probably doing one of her insane acrobatics to try to get there and they ran the rest of the way over- only to find that the crowd had merely dispersed a bit because Florianne was now collapsed- dead or dying, with a sword wound in her gut.

Worse yet, Dirk was a couple of paces away, bloodied sword in hand.

Well, there it went. It had gone from... standard, to  _worst_. He already understood the 'why?' a moment after he thought it, but he had thought the older Trevelyan was smarter than that, albeit being extremely rough around the edges. Apparently those edges were too sharp. Suddenly every worst case scenario that could come of the brand new development came to mind, and they all seemed very, very possible. And it was because none of his people were paying close enough to their prisoner.

Seconds of silence passed, and to Cullen's further surprise, Rhia was the first to speak. "... Dirk?!"

Her brother scowled. "Not like it was going to happen anyway..." he grunted when two of the guards around them apparently came to their senses and practically tackled an arm each to keep him still. "I'm done. That's the only injustice that I just fixed."

"That was the Grand Dutchess!" Cullen blurted, still not having sorted through all of the thoughts going on in his head.

"Yes, the one who tried to kill my sister," Dirk shot back, "three times!" he added.

There was more silence for a while, and someone Cullen didn't see clearly made it through the crowd and muttered an extremely dull, bored "oh, dear..." . Dorian. Definitely Dorian. And then there was a sharp, feminine inhale. Solona, probably. Cullen still tried to sort through everything going on. The crowd was part of the problem. He motioned at the other guards, who were still frozen. "Get everyone going. I'll... figure out what to do. Go." When no one moved, he sighed. "Now." The guards started to clear out, looking behind them every so often. He turned back to Dirk and started what probably looked like a quick march over to him, judging by how quickly Rhia had tried to keep up with him to get ahead of him first, he stopped in front of him. "We got through the night mostly unscathed as far as scandal goes and you go and do this. The guards will not stay silent. You are the Inquisitor's brother-"

"Exactly," Dirk snapped. "What would you have me do, Commander? She tried to kill her! Florianne committed treason, it's not like she would've lived much longer anyway!"

"It's not our call!" Cullen objected.

"Actually..." Dorian deadpanned from behind him.

Cullen turned to glare at him, but caught Josephine's still-stunned-but-affirmitive nod at Dorian's interjection before he could do so. He turned back.

It was finally Rhia's turn to speak- not that words were coming to her well. "So... there's no- we can- I can..." she tossed her hands up in defeat. After a moment, she walked over to Dirk and punched him in the chest. "You utter _ass_!"

"Still don't regret it. You're welcome, by the way."

She hit him again, then turned to Cullen. "What's going to become of him for now?"

"I think we'd probably have to worry about the body now rather than the one who did something that may doom the Inquisition's reputation but isn't going anywhere..." Cullen growled. He jabbed his finger towards the guards. "Hold him. Throw him in a cell when we get back until we can figure out what to do about... that part of this."

Rhia finally spoke again, and when Cullen looked at her, he realized that she had been putting on a brave face in the last few moments because now the shock was coming back and it looked like she was ready to cry, scream or stab something all at once. "Can... we... I can't believe I'm about to say this, so Leliana, Josie, please don't give me one of your looks, but... can we make it look like an accident? Like mercs took out the party? We could... figure out what to say if the guards talk after the fact, right?" she offered. She touched one of the daggers at her side.

Out of the corner of his eye he spotted an orange glow start up in Dorian's palm. Cullen realized that was the silver lining to all this- after everything, he'd give the siblings and the entire team credit. They all cared. The siblings would protect each other, and then Rhia's band of misfits were so dedicated they were set to go with whatever plan she thought up. "I-  _no_." At this rate, Leliana and Josephine's silence was deafening, and he was worried that he was the only one not on board with her idea. Well, Leliana probably was- he stopped that thought process as quickly as possible. "We... there must be some... blankets or something we have to cover... her." He tried not to look at the body, knowing full well that doing so would set off the checklist of things that could go wrong all over again. He glanced back to find two other guards had gone to look for the said objects.

The guards eventually found a bunch of blankets and the braver of the bunch wrapped up the woman, and the Inquisition was on its way again.

Cullen was happy that the fallout from that choice would have to be delayed. But once again, happiness was short lived when he had finally made his way over to Leliana, who had admitted that the mercenary attack would have been a good idea- they could run interference with word of mouth, and they needed Dirk since he was one of the better swordsmen in the group of fighters they had. The commander was pretty sure if he didn't have grey hairs starting from the start of the Ball, he was sure to have them now.

Forget contemplating killing any of them. The Inquisition was going to be the death of  _him_ , he just knew it.

* * *

After the group returned to Skyhold, things had been quiet for a few days. Solona was perfectly comfortable knowing that it was because the ones who knew about what had transpired the entire time they were away were working out what to do and waiting for things to blow over. Cullen had spent most of the time glaring daggers at the ground and looking like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop for various situations. Rhia had done trips around the fortress, catching up on small tasks while absolutely torn on what to think about what had transpired, and her people crowding around her to make sure she was okay. Dirk himself had been tossed into one of the prison cells 'at least until an 'official judgement' on Florianne could've been passed as far as her own criminal acts. No one knew how they were going to handle that, being that they had burned the woman's remains and put them in a crate, which was supposed to be the subject of judgment. Even she still wasn't sure what to think about what Dirk had done. He was a close friend and she adored him and all he did, but she was in the camp that he had gone too far this time. She had known something was going to go terribly wrong when she had seen him tackle one of his sister's attackers out of that window, but this wasn't on the list of things she could have seen him doing. She wandered into the garden and was quite surprised to find Morrigan sitting on one of the benches. "Morrigan?!"

The woman glanced her way, and Solona knew she'd deny it if asked, but the dark-haired woman smiled at her. "Solona. It seems your Inquisition is in need of an additional mage advisor. I've elected to fill the position."

"And... does the Inquisition know about needing a new advisor?" Solona countered with a smile of her own.

Morrigan smirked. "Not yet."

Solona laughed. "I've missed you, you know."

Morrigan sighed dramatically. "Yes, yes, I suppose I've missed you as well, if you must kn- Kieran, stay away from that!" she suddenly snapped.

Solona's smile dropped and she looked in the direction Morrigan was looking. A boy was standing by one of the plants that was potted. Solona recognized it as one of the ones that Katryn had stumbled into during a fight from back in the day and gotten poisoned for her trouble.

The boy turned their way, and Solona made eye contact with him, and quite suddenly, she realized she knew those eyes. "Morrigan- is that- is...?!"

"Hush, you."

She turned to her. "But-"

Morrigan groaned. "Yes. It is, are you pleased now?"

"Does- it worked? Does Alistair-"

"Of course the oaf knows. He  _knew_ going into it."

"Then has he... met... him? Kieran, was it?"

"Yes, Kieran, and no, he hasn't, and I plan to keep it that way," Morrigan shot back. She tensed for a while, and when she saw that the redhead made no sound of protest and had merely offered a reassuring smile, she relaxed. "Which is great, considering I'm now housed with one of the biggest powerhouses aside from him himself."

"You're the one who's supposedly joined us, remember?"

Morrigan merely hummed in agreement.

"Your- well,  _his_ secret's safe with me, I promise," Solona assured her, then, after a moment, "... so long as I can meet him."

Morrigan sighed again. "Kieran, come here. One of the women I've told you about are here."

"You've included me in your stories? Morrigan, I'm touched!"

"You're  _touched_  indeed, Amell. Now quiet, before I change my mind."

* * *

A hooded figure approached the edge of the mountain they were on and squinted against the snow. They had forgotten how cold the mountains could be. But upon seeing the bridge to Skyhold, the cold was basically harmless. Now the only thing they had to worry about was if they were followed or not. They knew not being followed would be too much to ask for.

The hardest part was over, however.

Now all they had to do was find Solona.


	10. Chapter 10

Cullen was absolutely thrilled when things had been quiet for the last few hours. Rhia had taken Dorian, Cassandra, Blackwall and a handful of others on some mission, which left most of the recruits available to continue to train. He and Solona had been working on having the warrior classes and mages facing off, testing defensive moves again.

They had arranged a break in the afternoon and had went into the main hall to catch up with Varric when a hooded figure caught Solona's eye. She watched him while Varric rattled on with some story about Anders having been a good guy before everything had gone to shit that Cullen still wasn't believing. “Varric, has that man been around long?”

Varric shrugged. “A bit. He's just been wandering. Any time Ruffles comes by, it looks like he wants to go talk with her, but then he backs off.”

“And that... didn't seem suspicious?” Solona asked, still eyeing the stranger.

To his credit, Cullen started watching him as well.

Varric, in turn, just lifted his head towards Bianca. “Worst case scenario solution, right here.”

Solona paused, realizing it was, in fact, a decent argument. She turned back to the stranger and stopped short again when she saw him fidget after a minute. She knew that fidget. “Oh, no...”

Cullen frowned. “What?”

“We have... the most... international incident-friendly visitor I believe we'll ever have...” Solona explained.

“Which means?” he asked.

There was a pause, and suddenly Solona went wide-eyed. “Go see Morrigan. Tell her she and Keiran can take my quarters until this is resolved.”

“Wha- Morrig- no!” Cullen objected.

“'No' to going to see her, or taking my quarters?” Solona countered. She didn't look away from the stranger, but she looked exasperated more than confused this time around.

“Both, actually...” he deadpanned. When she finally turned from the stranger to give him a disapproving look, he crossed his arms over his chest. “I don't trust her.”

“Because she's a mage?” Solona asked.

It was Cullen's turn to gawk yet again. After all they had been through in the last few months, she had instantly drawn that conclusion. Fantastic. He tried to ignore the pit in his stomach that had suddenly started. “ _No_ , because she just... there's... something dark about her and I don't like how she just conveniently showed up. And I don't like that Rhia keeps going to see her alone, either.”

“She's not alone, she has every single person in the garden looking out for her, and she just needs information” Solona replied. She turned back to Varric. “Can you go get Morrigan and bring her to my quarters? Tell her it's about what we talked about?”

The dwarf merely shrugged it off, muttered something about having had worse, and went to go deliver the message. Solona watched him, then looked back at the stranger.

“Are you going to fill me in or not?” Cullen finally blurted.

Solona sighed. “I'm just trying to figure out the 'whys' and the 'hows'...” she growled. After another few moments, she nodded to herself. “Now we're going. You, come with me.” She took him by the arm and dragged him towards the stranger. When they reached him, she had a split second to thank the Maker that he hadn't noticed before she reached up quickly, just under his hood and took him by the ear and pulled him down to eye-level.

Cullen still couldn't see the man's face, but he was still reasonably surprised at the octave of the alarmed yelp that the man let out when he got jerked down. It didn't seem to fit the whole persona- nor did his sudden effort to keep his hood on that almost seemed comical.

Solona, however, didn't miss a beat, addressing the stranger. “And _you!_ You better behave and come with me before I put you on ice for a week!” she hissed. She started to drag both of them towards the door to the courtyard, and when she did, she dragged them through it before heading into one of the empty rooms. She shoved the stranger inside and guided Cullen in far more gently before shutting the door behind her- and promptly lunging at the stranger in order to start swatting at his chest.

“You. Imbecile! Do you really. Think. This was going to end well?!” she demanded between swats. When the stranger was silent, she settled for punching him in the chest. “Alistair!”

Now _that_ got Cullen's attention. “Ali-what?!” he hissed, but the stranger had shrunken back to pull back his hood, and sure enough, the bloody _King of Ferelden_ was suddenly looking back at Solona.

Oh, this day was just grand. Cullen made about six new entries into the list of things that needed to be fixed for everyone's mental state to go back to normal before it finally completely sunk in that the King was standing in front of him, and he all but threw himself down to take a knee, not knowing what else to do with all of the other thoughts going on in his head.

Alistair blinked at the other man for a second before he turned to Solona. “Make him stop, you know I hate when they do _the thing_...”

She hit him again. “What do you expect to have happen?! And why are you here?! Where are your guards?! Where's Teagan?!”

“I... … may have slipped away in the middle of the night during a trek to get information about war efforts. And Teagan's …. probably a matter of hours away. He'll be here soon. He's been looking for you nonstop, by the way. And why am I getting questioned when you've been missing?!” Alistair demanded, growing angry. It didn't last long. What was starting to turn to a scowl on his face instantly turned into a frown. “I thought you were dead!” his voice cracked at the last bit and he seemed to settle down for a moment. “We hadn't heard anything. Teagan's worried himself sick about it.”

“Haven't heard...” Solona's annoyance faded as well. “I've sent word with at least five messengers that I was okay.”

“We haven't gotten any of them...” Alistair repeated. “Messengers can't even make it anywhere. That's what this war is doing...” he sighed.

Solona frowned at him, then shook her head. “Hold it, don't you dare turn this on me! You're at Skyhold! _Alone_!”

Cullen shook his head. “I'm sorry, but can we- why the Hell is the King of Ferelden in Skyhold dressed as a hermit?!” he blurted.

Alistair turned his attention to him. “Because... because I need a favor. Again. Seeing as the Inquisitor and I are even now, I figure I could get another one.”

“And where are your guards?!” Cullen demanded. After a moment, he averted his eyes, having realized one thing was missing from the last couple of things he had said. “Your... Majesty.”

“And there's what I was trying to avoid...” Alistair asked. “Get up, will you? I came with all this get-up to avoid the pomp and circumstance.”

“Why?” Solona asked.

“Because if I got everyone here it's more politics than it is solving problems. Politics are my wife's forte... and... my wife is the problem that needs solving.”

“What...?” Solona continued.

"Kat... she's still...” Alistair paused. “Kat's still missing after looking for the cure, and... between what's been happening with the Wardens, and the rest of the war, and people wanting to kill her in general...” he started to pace mid-explanation. “I've gotten bits and pieces, sightings here and there but nothing solid.” He stopped short and looked down.

Solona's heart broke for him when she recognized the destroyed look that crossed his face- he had had it when he had talked to Kat in the hours before they faced the archdemon, the time that they both thought it may be the last time they would speak.

He continued, “I just... I need my wife back, Lona. Being... kingly and sitting around waiting for someone to save her is driving me mad. I need to be out there looking myself. But what if she's dead?”

“She's not. She can't be...” Solona tried to reassure him.

Alistair shifted awkwardly, and like he had felt with Solona and Anders, Cullen suddenly felt like he was intruding on something far too private for him to be there. He wanted to kick himself yet again. He was getting jealous over nothing. The man- the King was obviously very in love with his wife, and he and Solona weren't so much as touching- damn it, he was not a jealous man. The amount of times he got uneasy when men were around her was getting ridiculous. It didn't change the fact that he felt like he needed to leave them alone, despite not being comfortable doing so. “Er, Your Majest-”

“Stoooopppppp,” Alistair groaned and added an eyeroll for good measure

“I'm not exactly... … you're the king, I can't very well call you 'Alistair' can I?” Cullen shot back.

“Then I _order_ you to call me Alistair,” Alistair countered.

Cullen gawked again, then sighed. “What do you expect us to do? We have other... other engagements. Not that the Queen's safety wouldn't be a priority among them of course.”

Alistair smiled weakly, having appreciated the afterthought. “I'm well aware, I was just... I was... if you can't offer a small party to go out looking for her, I was hoping I could get Lona back and we could all go out searching. Be like old times and all that.”

“That's impossible. For you, anyway. I'm surprised these walls aren't being swarmed by people looking for you now,” Solona told him.

“They probably will be soon enough, but I can handle it. It's not like you're holding me unwillingly,” Alistair offered. “And I-”

The door swung open behind them, and the three of them went into a defensive stance without so much as thinking. Once they recognized Zevran's silhoutte, they settled down, and it was Alistair's turn to gawk.

“ _You!_ ”

The former Crow offered his usual teasing grin, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. “Ah, Alistair. I thought that was your voice. It's been too long since-” he jerked and tried not to look surprised when the king crossed the room in a short few steps and pulled him into a hug. He turned the pair of them just slightly so Cullen couldn't see when the facade dropped and he relaxed into the man and looked just as relieved as Alistair had to see him and leaned into him when Alistair finally let him go.

“Cripes! You've been missing just as long as Kat, I've been just as worried! Where have you been?! Why haven't you contacted me?!”

“Because I've been looking for our Kat alone, and the Crows have found me again. I'm trying to lay low for both of those reasons. And when I came across dear Solona when I encountered the Inquisition, how could I leave her alone? How are we to trust her alone with strangers- and the poor lovestruck man who almost died thinking about her all those years ago.”

While Cullen contemplated punching the elf out cold for his continuous harassment, Alistair merely turned to him and uttered, “thought you looked familiar...”

Cullen crossed his arms over his chest, but he was happy that Alistair didn't have the overbearing pity in his eyes for him that the othersfrom Solona's old companions had when they recognized him. The King was just looking at him with understanding. “Yes, well-”

“Whatever. Point is, can we at least present it to the big wigs of the group?” Alistair asked, effectively diffusing the situation.

“Yes,” Cullen and Solona said together. Solona advanced on him. “Look, we can probably arrange an audience with Rhia in a bit, we just have... a lot to deal with at the moment, but... we'll do what we can,” Solona offered, and Cullen nodded in agreement.

“Great!” Alistair beamed. “Now then uh, where can I stay for the time being? You know, before my uncle gets here and kills me.”

“ _Out of sight_ , for starters,” Solona replied. She reached back to pull his hood back up and over his eyes. “Cullen, can he stay in your tower until we figure something out? Whether its an alibi of why he came here alone or what, I don't know?”

Cullen shrugged. “I suppose so, so long as he stays out of the way...”

Solona nodded again, then looked at Zevran. “Zev, take him there, will you?”

Zevran mock bowed before he led Alistair out of the room.

Cullen waited a grand total of three second before blurting. “I've just given up part of my living quarters to the King of bloody Ferelden...”

“He'll be gone soon enough... whether he'll be dragged out or not is anybody's guess.”

“The place is a mess, and and there are plans everywhere and-”

“He's not going to commit treason or spy, Cullen...” Solona pointed out with a smile.

“That's not what I'm- there's- it's not exactly fit for royalty, is it?”

“I fixed the hole in the roof. Ten years ago we were all on the ground in the wilderness with two blankets and that's it. He's dealt with worse.”

“Right, but that was before ten years of everything being... plush, and-”

“It'll be fine. I promise.”

Cullen ran his hand over his face, then shook his head. “Fine. But what was that about Morrigan before? You sent for her after you recognized it was- you know, I still can't believe I just had a conversation with the king...”

“Nothing you have to worry about,” Solona replied. “And you'll get used to it... eventually. We all did when Kat essentially volunteered him for the throne.”

Cullen shook his head harder. “I'm not fond of secrets being kept from me, you know.” She froze at that, and the man remembered that yes, this wasn't the first thing he had noticed she was keeping from him, and that got him all uneasy again.

“What?” she asked after a moment.

He squared his shoulders. “Do... the King and Morrigan have a history? Did anything... happen when you traveled?”

“Not... exactly. It's... it's not exactly my business, nor my business to tell, and... that's all you can get, I'm afraid. For now. Being that it's Alistair, things are bound to go wrong with this plan.”

He would have to take it as an answer. “Can you think of any reason he's resisting the false Calling?” he asked after a moment.

Solona, who had started to attempted to start up a reassuring smile stopped short. “I wondered that too. He's never been a good listener, so I'm... just sort of hoping that he's trying to tune it out. He said it, but it applies to us, too. I can't lose him or Kat. I don't know what I'd do. We're some... dependent mess after all that time together. Has Blackwall given an answer to anyone, either?”

“Not one. I don't like it. Any of it,” Cullen replied.

Solona's reassuring smile was back and she reached up to run her thumb across his cheek. “Breathe, Cullen. One problem at a time.”

“You all keep saying that, and don't seem to realize that little problems always pile up into mountains.”

“And we have the best people around to take care of those problems before that happens.”

“Hard to say, now that we're dealing with royal problems. Literally.”

“We do have people on it, don't we? If it gets Alistair out of your hair, I'll take a few people and go out to look for. It's only fair. Let her friends worry about her, not the Inquisition.”

“I'd like to go with you, if you do,” Cullen suggested. When she arched an eyebrow, he shrugged. “We need answers, and I'd like to see just how much damage is still being done out there. If Ali- _the King_ has collected all of his leads, we can use them.”

“Good. We should wait for Blackwall, too. This... red lyrium ordeal and the disappearance of the Wardens do seem to overlap somehow. Maybe we should bring him along, just in case.”

“Agreed,” Cullen nodded.

Both glanced up when they heard several horns sound, signaling that Rhia and the others had returned from their trip.

Cullen looked at Solona. “Well, who's going to tell her that we have a side mission that's going to take a lot of people?”

“I will. But let's at least let her have a drink first, shall we?”

“Yes, let's. And why not join her? I think I need one, if I'm supposed to keep our latest visitor a secret for now.”

“Sounds excellent.”

* * *

 

That night, Solona was only moderately surprised to find Alistair standing on the battlements outside of Cullen's office, looking over the bridge that led to the main entrance to the castle. “I thought I told you out of sight...” she teased.

Alistair scoffed playfully, then shrugged. “You've said it before, listening and I aren't friends. I just... I needed to think. And give the Commander his space too, seeing as I've invaded it...” he explained. After a beat, he leaned towards her. “Nice choice, by the way. That jaw and those dreamy eyes. Didn't get that good of a look at him all those years ago.”

She shoved him lightly. “Shut up, you git.” She looked at him, and when his answering chuckle didn't reach his eyes again, her own smile faded. “Talk to me.”

“What?”

“You aren't _you_. This is more than Kat. What's going on? Is the- if you're hearing the Calling, it's apparently fake. Can you drown it out?”

“I've been trying. It's... working... slightly. I've just got... more important things to worry about...” he continued. After a few moments of silence, he swallowed hard. He visibly struggled for words, then sighed and looked out onto the mountains. “... The last time we were together, Kat and I fought.”

Solona absorbed the information, then leaned onto the stone to get closer to him. “I knew there was something else that was eating at you.”

Alistair forced a laugh and it sounded pained. “I just- it was stupid, and I was angry about... her going off all the time with that... Architect... _thing_ and not being home with me, where I was, doing all the royal mumbo jumbo. Of course I didn't even think about the fact that she's only away searching for the cure partly so we can grow actually old together and not die... soon.” He looked down and shook his head. “And now with this Calling, and this war, and not hearing from her, I...” he trailed off.

Solona took his hand and squeezed it. “Don't think like that. I talked to Rhia, and she's given the okay for some of us to renew our efforts to go find her. And all the Wardens we can. We leave in a couple of days. If you're that worried about it, you're welcomed to join us... if your people even let you.”

“Let them try to stop me,” Alistair growled. After a beat, he shook his head. “I'm sorry. That wasn't at you. Thank you, really. And I'll try... for as long as I can. But I will have to dodge Teagan for a while if that's the case.”

“Well then, you best start doing so quickly,” Solona pointed out, perking up and staring at something in the distance.

Alistair made a face. “Why?” He grunted when she reached up and took his chin in her hand, then pointed at the bridge- where there was a small group of people, one of which who was sporting Teagan's flag. “Oh, here we go...”

“He might actually try to kill you this time. And me too, if he notices us together up here.”

“Yeah, well, at least he'll feel bad about _you_ ,” Alistair countered. “And before he even has a chance, that means he'll have to see us first,” he pointed out before he pushed off of the side of the battlement and turned to go to the other side, when:

“ _Don't. You._ _Dare_!” came from below them. Teagan's voice.

Alistair flinched and looked over the side again. Teagan was looking right up at him, squinting, but still recognizing. “Well, the secret's out...”

“Maybe not yet...” Solona objected, pulling his hood back up. “But we will have to go find a meeting place now.”

“Oh, you're absolutely _no fun_.”

“No, I just respect your uncle.”

“You know, I can tell dear Cullen about that time I thought you were into my uncle.”

“You wouldn't. And I wasn't!”

“Yeah, but Cullen doesn't know that,” Alistair pointed out.

“You are still an utter ass.”

“I missed you too, Lona.”

 


	11. Chapter 11

Solona glanced at Josephine as the pair of them watched Teagan scold Alistair in one of the open corners of the throne room. She adored Teagan, but the man was just short of making a scene, and they had all done a fairly good job of keeping the fact that the King of Ferelden was at Skyhold under wraps. The older man was getting louder by the moment, and Josephine looked ready to crack. She finally did, thankfully marching over to them before interjecting into the conversation quietly. She glanced Alistair's way. He looked understanding, but desperate all at once. He was losing the battle, even if that meant getting Kat back was lower on the priorities list. Suddenly the urge to find her friend clicked into place. They needed all the help they could get, and getting Kat back would be one of the best things they could do. They'd have a war hero for moral, she'd have her friend back, and Alistair wouldn't have that wounded pup frown that hadn't left his face for ages. They didn't have much to go on- just rumors of seeing her and a small group of people around Emprise Du Lion- at least that was the latest sighting.

“I'll go...” she offered.

Alistair's head shot up, and he took a giant step over to her “You will?! I mean... you will! Great! When are we leaving?!”

“Soon as possible?” Solona suggestion. When Alistair's answering grin just about split his face, she gave his chest a reassuring pat. “We'll find her, one way or another.”

The second part got the King's smile to fade a bit, but it was back up and just as bright a moment later. He turned back to Josephine.

“You are not going alone!” Josephine suggested. “We will get a... scouting party together...” she finished. She was clearly not at all fond of the idea.

“I'll come along...” Cullen offered. “If we're getting a party, we'd be better off making it look like we're looking for places for advantages in battle. It won’t be a lie, considering I could be doing that along the way.That said,  only a select few should know about the finer details, and... most of them are standing in this circle.”

“Who else?” Solona asked.

“You have a Warden, don't you?” Alistair asked.

“One, but he's currently away with the Inquisitor,” Josephine answered. “All we may be able to afford is soldiers... that are known for having quiet tongues.”

“I suppose you could bring Cole, too.”

The group turned to see Dorian had been the speaker. He had just come into the room and strolling over to them. When the mage saw they looked at him with a mix of annoyance and confusion, he grinned. “Old Tevinter spy trick. I wouldn't want to bore you with the details. Point is, you should all be quieter. Anyway, the spirit boy: he can be your little magical bloodhound to find the Hero, yes? All he has to do is get that little trick of his to work.”

“It's too dangerous to bring him,” Cullen countered. 

“It might be worth it,” Solona replied. When the others looked at her, she looked like she wasn’t sure whether to sympathize with them or Cole.  “He can’t help his gift, but he’s learning it’s… only welcome with a few people here. He’s trying. Besides, he can pick up on thoughts of people who are lost in... any way imaginable. And if anything happens- well, I'll be there, whether it's for a magical solution or just talking to him.”

“It would be dangerous for you too, my lady,” Josephine insisted. “We still don't understand all of Cole's... powers, and if he picks up on anything... dark-”

“With all due respect, Josephine, as limited as my own knowledge is, I think I have the firmest concept on the risks, at least,” Solona offered.

Josephine frowned at her, and when she cast her eyes up at Cullen when he seemed to understand, he mouthed 'Harrowing' at her. “Ah, yes... well, we just have to ask him, then...”

“You just have,” Dorian chimed in again and motioned at the main doors.

Sure enough, Cole was hurrying through the main doors and making his way over to them. The boy looked up at them after a moment. “Your friend! The Queen! I can sense her!”

Solona frowned and turned to him. “Cole, can you... can you sense Katryn? Do you know who she is?”

Cole stopped looking distance for a moment, then pointed to Alistair. “I know her… through him. I feel her. But she’s faint, far away. Danger waits for her…” he trailed off, going distant again. A moment later, he was more alert than when he first snapped out of it. “She’s in trouble. I want to help her!” 

Solona reached for Alistair’s hand when he tensed and gave it a gentle squeeze. She looked back at Josephine. “You just heard him. He’s coming, and she’s in trouble. We should leave as soon as we can.”

“We will gather the rest of your party today, and have you all leave tomorrow at first light,” Josephine suggested.

Alistair let out a squeak of excitement he tried extremely hard to contain, then hid behind Solona for good measure when the gathered crowd all looked at him.

Cullen looked between them, then nodded. “First light would be best.”

“Then it's decided,” Josephine agreed, although she still hardly looked convinced on whether or not that was a good idea or not. “I will get the arrangements sorted immediately, Your Majesty.”

Alistair perked up again. “Lady Josephine, you do this, you’ll never have to call me by any fancy title again.”

Josephine gaped at him for a moment, then smiled weakly. “I… would like that, I assume?”

Alistair beamed for a moment before looking around. “Well, best rest up then- not that I’ll be able to. Farewell, Lona, Uncle… everyone else.” He gave everyone a small smile before turning and hurrying back off to Solona’s tower.

Most of the group disbanded right after that, leaving Teagan and Solona alone, at least for the moment.

The older man sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Promise me you’ll keep him from doing something that will get him killed or doom the country?”

“I’ll try, Teagan. Promise.” 

“That’s good enough for me.”

* * *

The next morning, Solona reached the courtyard, where the scouting party had decided to meet. She knew they had to be careful about just how they looked and grouped together, considering you had two recognizable war heroes, the commander of the Inquisition, a (probably poorly) disguised King and then a few nobodies going on the mission. It was a mixed bag, and she hoped it would look like they just wanted to ensure the party would be properly guarded. 

To her surprise, Zevran was one of the first people who had apparently arrived. He was examining his daggers, twirling them around so often. The action was enough to shield a helmeted soldier, and she was impressed when she realized it was Alistair. His face was almost entirely covered and looked like he had just been volunteered by one of his superiors right off of the practice field. She wouldn’t have even figured out it was him if she hadn’t known his familiar nervous fidgeting. 

She walked over to them and put a reassuring hand on Alistair’s shoulder, but it barely affected him. “You know if you die from worry you won’t see her again anyway…” she murmured. She hadn’t wanted to resort to that, but if him straightening out was any indication, it had worked.

They waited a small while, then the rest of the assigned group arrived, signaled by Cullen’s arrival and a pointed look to the leaders from Josephine when she happened to wander by.

They made it almost halfway across the bridge when most of them heard someone coming from behind them.

It was Morrigan, looking like a woman on a mission as she closed the distance between her and the group. Kieran trailed close behind. “And why was I not informed of this plan?”

“Because we’ve got a good witch and don’t need a bad one?” Alistair muttered, then again in the fake voice, “Excuse us Lady Morrigan, we didn’t wish to bother you with such a… menial task!”

Morrigan scoffed and hurried so she could walk ahead of him while facing him as well. “Go find my best friend and get her out of trouble without me? Try to stop me,” she countered, thankfully saying the last bit quietly and while leaning towards him.

Solona sighed. “Easy, you two. What… he means to say is we didn’t want too much attention on us, so thank you for that. And we figured you had Kieran to take care of.”

“Kieran? Who’s…?” Alistair began, then turned, finally having seen the boy out of the corner of his eye. It was almost comical, seeing the cogs turning in his head, even under all that armor. After a beat, he pointed at the boy with a shaky hand. “Is- is that-?!”

“Yes,” Morrigan replied without missing a beat. She turned back around and fell into step with Cullen towards the front, much to the Commander’s apparent unease.

Alistair looked at Solona for support.

The mage shrugged. “Well, things were bound to be strange on the trip…” she murmured.

“Why are you not- you knew, didn’t you?!” Alistair demanded. He almost tripped over his own feet in his effort to turn to her fully.

“Yes, I did. It wasn’t that hard to figure- “

“And you didn’t tell me?!” he hissed.

“It wasn’t my place,” Solona countered.

Alistair stopped walking to stare at her. “Yeah, well, I thought I was closer to you than-“

“You are, but I wasn’t going to go blurting that news everywhere! I respect both of you enough to not make a spectacle that Varric could get word of!”

“Now now, children. You’re drawing attention…” Zevran pointed out, falling into step with them.

Alistair turned to him. “Zev, little busy having a crisis. Hold on, how’re you so- oh, you bloody knew about this already too, didn’t you?”

“Of course. I was a Crow, after all. I knew when the boy was young,” Zevran hissed.

Alistair stopped short again.

“Is everything alright, Amell? Arainai? Soldier?”  Cullen called from the front.

“Fine!” Solona and Zevran called back.

Cullen glanced back, clearly unconvinced all over again.

The group continued on in silence, but it only lasted a few moments. Alistair was the first to break it. “This trip’s gonna be Hell, isn’t it?”

“Oh, undoubtedly.”


End file.
